Out of the office (and my mind)

I can often gauge a person by his or her out of office message. It seems to be, quite literally, the last thing people do before going on vacation. Now, look, I'm sure your mind is somewhere else--like on a beach--but absolutely EVERYONE who sends you an email in the next two days/two weeks/two months is going to receive this exact message from you. Are you intentionally trying to look like an idiot?

Here are my top five favorite out of office messages of all time:

1) "I will return to the office on Monday, July 28." Ok...which year? Because this year, July 28 is not on a Monday.
2) "If your need is urgent, please call Jane Doe at 312-428-384." Right. As if that's going to help me. Is Jane Doe located in Spain or something?
3) "I will be out of the office until May 29." Glad to hear you had a nice time on your vacation in May. It's July. So are you back or not?
4) "I am out of the office." Well, fabulous. But obviously I sent you an email because I need something now. So what in the hell am I supposed to do?
5) "Thank you for your mesage. I am out of the ofice. I wil get backe to you upon my return." And by the way I clearly cannot spel.

What a mess

In light of recent news, here's who I would NOT want to be doing PR for today:

• Lindsay Lohan


• Promises rehab center


• Alcoholics Anonymous


• the SCRAM ankle bracelet

At the moment, my non-crisis job sounds just great, thank you...

A girl could get used to this

Today I found myself back in the San Diego area, this time on an island called Coronado Bay. If the weather is any indication, San Diego hasn't changed a whole lot since I was here last month.

I was starting to worry that I had become a hotel snob and that absolutely nothing could awe me again.

That was until I came here! It's really awesome. So, for the person who chastized me (and anonymously, at that!) for not updating my blog on a regular basis, I thought you'd enjoy these pictures.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am off to the gym. And then to a reception on the bay, and then to dinner where I will watch the sunset.

Don't like it? Go somewhere else

I have three words for Sprint, which decided to disconnect 1,000 customers for being unreasonable: good for you. These current subscribers called an average of 25 times per MONTH for something, which takes up valuable time of the customer service people who just might need to help other people (imagine that!).

Chad and I were at Goodwill over the weekend dropping off some clothes and in line at the store was this woman (holding a little dog) loudly complaining that she was overcharged. The clerk went through every single line-item of a very long receipt and after about 15 minutes she ended up calling over the manager. I think her total was like $19 for about 50 things. Meanwhile, there happened to be about five people in line behind this terrible woman who just wanted to pay! Now look, if she truly did get overcharged, then of course she should draw attention to it. But clearly she didn't. So if she wasn't willing to pay her total, then she should have taken herself and her little dog and gone somewhere else.

Some people are just too high-maintenance and if I were a company, I'd say good riddance too. Just because you're a business doesn't mean that you are required to let people take advantage of you.

A toasty day in DC

Day 2 at the gym and today was a bit more challenging than yesterday. Not only because my arms feel like they're going to fall off but also because the AC was "being repaired." It was hot in there.

They say you learn one new thing every day. Today I learned a few things (mostly from my Self magazine). Here they are:

• There is a website that tells you, based on your weight and level of activity, how much water you should consume every day. According to them, I need 76 ounces a day (yikes!). I'd better start drinking. Water.
• Full-fat dairy products like ice cream help with fertility (who knew?). And, no, I'm not going to up my daily intake of Baskin-Robbins at the moment, though that will be a great rationale to head down the street for some Jamoca Almond Fudge someday.
• 20-minutes of leisure per day (be it gardening, reading a book, baking, etc.) is actually essential for your health--as important as eating well and getting enough sleep!

Movie night in Iraq

Well, Chad is no longer on his deathbed. In fact, at this moment he is cursing at our kitchen sink trying to install a new water filter. In other words, life is back to normal at the Davis house.

Blockbuster was having a "buy 2, get 2 free" deal so we got four movies to send to Brad and his guys. Two action flicks and two brainless ones. All of them are so new that he wouldn't have been in the States when they were in the theatres. Even though it takes forever to get there, it's fun to send him stuff. I know they all appreciate it and this will give them something to do in the downtime.

In other news, I have started my RT Bridesmaid workout regiment and can hardly lift my arms. So I know I had a good workout. I kept telling myself this morning, I'm not going to be the smallest bridesmaid, but darn it, I'm going to have one of the best sets of arms.

An Independence Day diatribe

I've had a lot of great Fourths of July. This year's was relatively calm. We tailgated at the Cubs/Nats game in the morning, watched the Cubs get absolutely blown away in the afternoon, and headed back to the house with the best of intentions of heading back into DC for the fireworks but never went.

Chad has come down with a cold and took his first sick day in years today (he's paranoid that everyone in his office will think he's hungover but the joke would be on them if he went in today and infected everyone). So, while trying to nurse my sickly husband back from the dead last night, I got to thinking of my top July 4th memories of all time. Among them:

• Getting to eat orange push-up pops while watching the fireworks in the front yard at home. This was a BIG deal--we never got to get push-up pops at the store! I don't remember Daniel or Janice being there so this must have been ages ago. That, or I just blocked them out of my mind.
• Watching the fireworks in Boston on tour where somehow we found ourselves on the roof of a townhouse overlooking the fireworks literally a stone's throw away and listening to the Boston Pops play patriotic music in rhythm with the show.
• Going to the Knoxville Park with grandma and grandpa where we'd head into the old one-room schoolhouse for ice cream and pie (I almost always inadvertently ended up with something that had rhubarb in it, where my distaste for that probably stems) before playing on the swings, listening to the band and settling down for fireworks once it got dark. RT always covered her ears when she saw the bright flashes because that meant the big "booms" were not far behind.
• Sitting on a hayrack right outside the hog lot trying to point out as many fireworks displays as we could from surrounding towns. I think we made it to at least 10.
• My first 4th of July in DC at the Georgetown waterfront. A hot, muggy day. I remember being jealous of all the people watching the show from their big boats on the Potomac. Then a few years later, mom was here and we watched on the roof of NRF. Last year, Daniel and Holly were here and we watched on the NRF roof. Even though I've done it several times now, watching the fireworks over the Washington Monument really never gets old.
• July 4 events at Lakelawn where we got to dive in the deep end for change. I used to stay down there as long as possible to stuff my fists with quarters. By the time I got up to the top, I had a few bucks to my name and was absolutely gasping for breath. (Side note: this was in the days before everyone went lawsuit-crazy. Something like this would just never fly today.)

Summer Lovin'

It has been a particularly wonderful last few days in DC. Part of the reason why it's so great is because usually by now it's horribly hot and humid. We have to enjoy this while it lasts!

So tonight, again, we'll be firing up the grill and enjoying a glass of wine in the backyard while we make dinner. By the time the sun sets, we'll be ready to retire indoors to eat whatever Chad has managed to whip up for us. And then, with full tummies, we'll head to bed with the windows open and a nice cool breeze ruffling the curtains.

There aren't too many better ways to spend a summer night.