Oh for the love of Leap Day

I read today that people like Leap Day because it "gives us a chance to catch up." That's a noble goal. Laughable, perhaps, but noble to think that by having one extra day of the year to do stuff we'll be in better shape. Kind of like ending up with a bonus two hours in a 24-hour day. But it's also Friday and we all know that what gets done on Friday is almost always the bare minimum.

If I were going to use today to catch up, here's what I would do.

1) Fold the clean load of laundry that has been sitting in our second bedroom for more than a week. I've been randomly picking out socks and underwear from it. Just as easy as getting it out of my dresser.

2) Finish painting the last six cabinets in the kitchen. I was so sick of it last weekend that I literally could not force myself to complete them. Maybe I will do that tonight. Then we're almost done! (Except we are still waiting on a replacement hose and nozzle for our new faucet--of course the easiest projects are always the biggest pains.)

3) Clean my office. It is just amazing how crap accumulates. Actually, that is a really good idea. Might be an excellent afternoon project.

Joke of the Day

Too good not to post. Thanks to a colleague for sending to me. I'm still laughing.

The Waiting Room

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. Many of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The receptionist said, "Hello, sir. Can you please tell me why you're here to see the doctor today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

A different kind of workout

I was working out in the gym this morning minding my own darned business when I noticed a guy out of the corner of my eye. He looked nice enough. T-shirt, shorts, tennis shoes...just what you'd expect to see at the gym. Until I noticed that his shirt said "Run Against Bush" and was from a coordinated event aimed at taking down the current President.

Look. I don't care if you vote for someone because of who they are (in fact, I hope you do), but don't vote for someone because they are not the other guy. Besides, I think his shirt was a little out of date, considering the website no longer exists. And Bush isn't running in November.

I am already sick of the Presidential election. Can we just fast-forward to November 5?

Meat & the musical fruit

Today is National Chili Day. (Or, it's next Thursday, depending upon who you believe.)

At any rate, what better way to celebrate this crappy, icy weather than with a nice, hot bowl of goodness?

Throw a little cheese on top or some mac if you want to be really racy. Just watch out for those beans!

Nice to see you again, Murphy

As Murphy's Law would have it, I got my new phone yesterday. It's all charged up and ready to go. I even got a call on it (which is more than I can say for my last phone). Finally, all was right with the world.

Until about midnight, that is, when Chad came to bed and set a brand-new Razr phone down right next to my new one. Yep, he found it. Said he walked past the couch and accidentally kicked the leg and it popped right out. I know I checked underneath the couch and all the cushions. But I think Mr. Murphy just missed me and wanted to wait until the right time to remind me that he's always around the corner.

A few (more) of my favorite things...

Here are a few things that I'm loving right now.

1) Fiber One bars. Other than the fact that they are a bit sweet for the first thing in the morning, they are an awesome dose of fiber and keep me full! Except on days that I work out. Then they're more of a snack.

2) American Idol! I went to college with Luke Menard and am hoping that he can make it through to the top 12. He's a really nice guy and I'm rooting for him! And the Australian guy, and the guy who looks like Justin Timberlake...

3) Second chances. I have my new phone in my possession. It is currently charging. Here's hoping that I'm able to keep it around a bit longer than 24 hours.

Still going...

We're done painting and Chad has been a busy guy. Sanding, spackling and generally just making a mess.

This is going to get worse before it gets better.

By the way, I do know how to take pictures. All those spots all over the place? That's dust.

Easier said than done

Chad wanted to put in new kitchen countertops this winter, so we decided to get cracking on our project last weekend by finally buying the supplies. We were going to spend a few hours here and there this weekend ripping out the old countertops, taping, and painting before installing the new tops ourselves.

Oh dear Lord, what was I thinking? Somewhere along the line I failed to realize that meant we had to take out everything in the lower drawers and cabinets of the entire kitchen (hence, my living room looks like this)


and take out the sink.



And let's just say I have nowhere to put mail. Here's my desk.


These projects always sound so easy.

What do you mean I can't buy this?

Either because you know this or you just know me, you may not be surprised to hear that I lost my brand-new RAZR phone before I placed a single call. I have waited around for four weeks in the hopes that it pops up somewhere and have torn apart my house, cars, and office to find the dumb thing. It has totally disappeared.

So, after a month without a phone, I decided to just suck it up and buy another one. I am not happy about it but I am just going to put it out of my mind and pretend this never happened.

Yesterday I called AT&T customer service to see how I go about replacing a phone that I lost. She told me that the cheapest price for the phone would be to order it online. So I did. I got a confirmation email...and then a follow-up email that said I couldn't place the order because we already had too many lines. (Nevermind that I wasn't trying to order a new line, just a new phone. But that is beside the point.)

I called the customer service/sales line back and spent about a half hour with a very nice woman who finally got the dumb thing ordered. Last night I got an email confirmation that my order was in progress. Great. I hoped it would be here by Friday.

I checked the progress of the shipment today and, guess what? The order has been cancelled. I am currently on the phone with them to figure out a) why it was cancelled and b) when they are going to send me a new phone. Well, I'm on hold anyway. She told me that it might have been cancelled automatically because my shipping address was different than my billing address. Wha...?

I truly didn't know it would be this hard to spend $250.

So this is why people get up early!

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting around and really (really) not feeling like going into work on Monday, so I took a personal day today. Here's what I've done so far:

5:45 a.m.: Woke up and went to the gym with Chad. Ran 2.5 miles and did 100 sit-ups.
7:30 a.m.: Balanced our checkbook and paid bills
8:00 a.m.: Called in to notify the Alexandria Circuit Court that I got my jury summons (I'm nerdily excited about that...I'll keep you posted on if I get called up the week of 2/25)
8:30 a.m.: Went to the dry cleaners and the bank
8:45 a.m.: Reformatted Chad's iPod
8:50 a.m.: Talked to Janice

It's just now 9 a.m.! I about fell over when I noticed that.

And the bonus is that it is five degrees outside so now that I've accomplished many of my errands I'm going to sit around in my nice, toasty house and drink some tea and write out my Valentine's Day cards.

Not your typical Sunday

So Chad and I get home from his football game around noon today. The Catholic church on Braddock and the Baptist church on King Street have just gotten out, so people are all over the place. Typical. But then we realize that more cars are coming than going. And then I notice that our street is busy--so busy, in fact, that traffic is almost at a standstill. Literal crowds of people are making their way down the sidewalk--families, old people, young people...we couldn't figure out what was going on.

Until one of the passersby paused to enlighten us. Obama is speaking at the high school in advance of Tuesday's primary. Yep, that will do it. Glad I'm not going anywhere this afternoon. I don't think I could get out of our driveway.

Windy city indeed

This week I am in Chicago. I'm pretty sure this is what Winnie the Pooh meant when he said it was a "blustery day." With a foot of snow and more to come, this is the view from my hotel room.

I think this is why pizza delivery was invented.

A lesson in speaking

I just got an interesting piece of mail from the National Speakers' Bureau. It says that being able to say the following paragraph intelligently and without stumbling is "a prerequisite for any public speaker worth hiring."

She is a thistle sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle sifter.

I'm working on it...