"Congress is nuts"

Janice got back tonight from accompanying the Secretary on a trip to Florida to speak in front of the Farm to Fuel Summit. At the event, which Janice was staffing, he was asked why the U.S. is so dependent on foreign oil.

His answer was simple: Congress is nuts! That's a direct quote and, yes, it did get picked up by the Associated Press. Here's the beginning of the article:

U.S. Agriculture Secretary Ed Schafer had a simple explanation Thursday for why the country is so reliant on foreign oil: Congress is nuts.

"The reason we can't get Congress to move on the need to open up the exploration and extraction of energy sources that are in the boundaries of this country is because they're nuts. They don't get it. They're wrapped up in the political structure, they're worried about their re-election," he said, adding that congressmen are also afraid to anger environmentalists.

As a fellow communications professional, I can sympathize with this situation. I appreciate when public figures just tell it like it is, as long I'm not the one responsible for exactly what they say. So when she told me about this, I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe. Since this did not happen to me, I laughed. I'm still laughing, actually.

I once was lost...

Last night I decided that it would be practical to walk Lucy to Chad's softball playoffs. (She could get exercise and I could see his game--what a win-win.) It was only 2.5 miles away so we left at 7:45 for the 8:30 game. We had plenty of time.

Somehow I missed the turn I needed to make and we ended up several miles out of our way. And of course all of the streets curved, meaning the routes I was taking just led us back to where I knew we didn't want to be. So there I was, wandering around some neighborhood with no cell phone, a completely oblivious dog, and the fading sun.

I was immediately reminded of the time I lived by myself in St. Louis, went out for a Saturday walk, and got terribly lost from a bunch of convoluted streets that all started with the word "fern." (Fern Place, Fern Way, Fern Circle...you would never have believed the combinations.) I was honestly wandering around there for hours before I found my way out--and when I did, I was much farther away from home than I'd anticipated!

Last night, we eventually back-tracked our way to the route we were supposed to take and made it to the last 45 minutes of Chad's game, just in time to see him hit a home-run. Then he drove us back, which was good because I don't want to know how long it would have taken me to get home in the dark.

News, news, news

When it rains, it pours. Since lunch:

• Senator Ted Stevens was indicted for corruption
• Bennigan's filed for bankruptcy
• There was a big earthquake in L.A.
• And Mervyn's filed for bankruptcy

This is a day when there are too many stories and not enough reporters. And with that, this PR person is going home. I'm pretty sure no one is writing about back-to-school right now.

Oh, happy day

I will spare the details, but I have had a really rotten day. Just about everything that could happen, has happened...and this does not happen very often.

As if they knew I needed a pick-me-up, I just got this email from our Vice President of HR:

We will be trying out Casual August! Feel free (as your meeting and work schedule allow) to wear jeans, sneakers and/or flip flops every day. Plus, on Fridays, you are free to wear t-shirts and shorts.

I am bouncing around the office like I just won the lottery (and like the last eight hours never happened). Perhaps I will have to re-think those three days I had planned to take off. I can always take off in September, when I'll be back to wearing suits.

Saturday education

Here's what I know today that I didn't know yesterday:

1) Dogs can get eye infections. And our dog has one.

2) Since we got to stop by the vet, I had Lucy get on the scale. Chad is extremely proud that his once-medium dog has reached the 50-pound threshold and is considered "large." (It's actually 49.8, but I've decided to give her 0.2 of my own pounds to get her where she needs to be. I'm really selfless that way.)

3) The Dark Knight is an awesome movie. Go see it, but don't take young kids. (I will never understand how it got a PG-13 rating.) We don't go to the movies often, since Netflix costs less for a month than two adult theatre tickets, but this was worth it. I'm not even a Batman fan, so trust me.

Pain in the neck

Chad's 16-year-old brother Evan was in a relatively serious accident this morning on a country road. His truck went down a 15-foot embankment, rolled, and caught on fire. Luckily, a farmer was nearby to break the windshield and help him out. (I love farmers.)

Evan was airlifted to St. Francis Hospital with a herniated disk and a fractured vertebrae in his neck. (In a rotten batch of timing, because the President was in town, he had to wait for several hours at another hospital before they cleared the air space and could transport him.)

He'll have surgery tomorrow morning and is currently resting as comfortably as one can in a hospital. Aside from the neck brace he'll have to wear for a few months, they think he's going to be fine. We're all saying a lot of praise-the-Lords around here that it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

My sister-in-law reminded me that this is the second Davis brother in less than six months to catch a truck on fire. She wisely suggested that I keep a close eye on Chad.

Meanwhile, hang in there, Evan! We'll be thinking of you!

July 26 update: Evan's surgery went great!

A bipartisan boycott

When Chad worked in the Longworth building several years ago, his office (and about everyone else in Longworth) was always talking about this little old woman named Doris who has worked in the House cafeteria for about 30 years. She'd ask about everyone's kids, wives, bosses, weekend plans, etc. and people would stand in longer lines just to be rung up by Doris.

Even though he now works in a different building, Chad goes back to the Longworth cafeteria on occasion. Doris always remembers his name and my name (I've never met the woman), asks how his new job is going, and inquires about everyone else who worked in his office to see how they are doing.

I'm not saying the woman is incredibly efficient--it might take her five minutes to ring up a cup of coffee for all I know--but she is loved by the staffers!

Earlier this week, Doris was suspended for coming up short on her cash register. (By $9. Seriously.) Chad told me about it last night and was actually legitimately upset.

You've never seen people from either side of the aisle so quickly band together to bring Doris back. There was a boycott planned for Tuesday where all Hill staffers planned to eat anywhere other than the cafeterias. People who have left the Hill and have "connections" were calling the company that runs the cafeterias to protest...it was quite an operation. And now it's starting to make the news.

This morning, Doris is back, almost like nothing had happened. Emails are circulating far and wide throughout DC that the Hill's favorite lunch lady has returned to her post at the cash register. Both Democrats and Republicans are happy about this one.

What a difference a "p" makes

For the life of me, I had no idea what he was talking about when an analyst called today asking where we got the statistic that 80% of tax rebate checks had been spent. He saw that number, with us cited, in an article today in a prominent newspaper about how sales were going to be down since everyone had already spent their check. (No, I'm not divulging which paper.)

I had never seen that statistic and had no idea where it came from. I checked with our other spokespeople, in the event that there was someone else here who speculated on this. My question was met with a blank stare.

I checked our data--and there is a lot of it. Nowhere could it be contrived that we said that 80% of checks had been spent. It didn't make any sense and was, in fact, completely inconsistent from a lot of other things we'd been saying.

Then I heard from the reporter himself. He got his statistic from another reporter at their publication based on a conversation that the reporter had with someone here in early July. (That's nothing new--happens a lot.)

But then I figured it out. Talk about miscommunication.

We did not say that 80% of rebate checks had been spent. We said that 80% of checks had been sent (aka: distributed, disbursed, mailed, etc.). In fact, we have no idea what value of those checks have been spent (aka: used to buy things) and are still trying to figure out that data internally.

I'm always amazed how one little letter can completely change the meaning of a comment.

7 a.m. this morning

...Sitting in my office writing a column because there is no other time around here lately that it is quiet enough to get anything done. I left the house at 6:00, right after Chad went to the gym. I put Lucy in the kitchen. The phone rings--caller ID says it's my house.

Hello?

"Question," Chad says slowly. "How many gates does it take to put Lucy in the kitchen?"

Silence. I am too perplexed to figure out what he is talking about. Then it dawns on me.

Oops.

Our kitchen has two doorways. I only gated one of them, so Lucy spent an hour in the living room having a hey-day with a pair of sunglasses and yesterday's mail.

Upon my realization of this oversight, I couldn't do anything but laugh. Fortunately, Chad couldn't either.

A better way to save Starbucks: spend

Many people were not terribly surprised last week to hear that Starbucks is closing 600 underperforming stores across the country. While I do love my skinny cinnamon dolce latte on occasion, I do think that having three Starbucks within a six-block radius of my office is overkill. (As a side note, the brand-new Galesburg location that just opened last fall is on the list. What a waste of money--and another abandoned eyesore on Henderson Street.)

So, now there's a campaign to save Starbucks, encouraging people to sign an online petition and to share their thoughts on how this is just a horrible situation.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the best way to save a struggling business by spending money there? Starbucks is not an entitlement, it's a company. If some stores are not making money, it's time to close them. Period.

Ode to the forgotten cookie

I promised to bring dessert to a work cookout yesterday and, as usual, was scrounging around to figure out what ingredients remained in the cabinet before committing to anything specific. I didn't have enough marshmallows for Rice Krispie treats, so I made revel bars (you can never go wrong with an oatmeal and chocolate combination) and, on a complete whim, decided to make snickerdoodles.

I haven't made snickerdoodles since probably the seventh grade, when I made (and ate) them so often I got sick. At the time, they were my trademark. Eighteen years later, I impulsively decided to give them another whirl.

And that's how I discovered the forgotten cookie. People raved about them. (Personally, I thought they were too crunchy.) And, the best part...after five years of working here, I learned they are my boss's boss' favorite cookie. Talk about brownie points!

Family Affair

Last night at Joe and Carolyn's wedding, Joe thanked their families for making the trip to DC and friends who were visiting from places like Ireland and the Dominican Republic. Then he made a note to thank our DC friends who, he said, were very much like a local family. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

Since this is such a transient area--and almost nobody here is really from here--having close friends becomes really important. And even though I'm lucky enough to have my sisters living here, we're so lucky to have found a much larger extended family too.

There are a couple dozen other people I wouldn't hesitate to call if I locked myself out of my car, was dying to find the perfect recipe, or needed a recommendation for...well, anything. And I know they'd call us if they needed heavy furniture moved, a last-minute babysitter, or wanted to celebrate a promotion.

I guess you could say that we take care of each other. After all, isn't that what families do?

Little black dresses

I am all about chic black cocktail dresses. They're perfect for almost every occasion--and I have short, long, slinky, loose, strapless, sleeveless....

But while I was at the mall tonight looking for something to wear tomorrow, I could hardly escape them. At least half of the dresses in each department were all black...great for a winter, fall, even spring wedding, but it's not going to be my first choice for a summer soirée where the weather is pushing 100 degrees.

After trying on two dozen dresses, I found one. I really like it, and it is not black. In fact, it is so not black, I might have to buy new shoes.

California Dreaming

Huntington Beach has hundreds of concrete firepits where people of all ages gather every night to make s'mores, play frisbee, and hang out under the stars. (It's pretty awesome, really.)

The conference is over and almost everyone travels back tomorrow. Someone I work with had the brilliant idea to head down to the beach tonight and make our own fire. A trip to the grocery store for wood and s'mores ingredients, and we were ready. We watched the sun set while gorging on chocolate. It was fabulous.

Shopping spree

Those of you who know me well would likely classify my shopping personality as "binge." I don't do it often, but when I do...step back. There is no real reason for this, other than I really just do not enjoy the act of shopping. Finding my size, trying things on, looking for the best deal...it's really overwhelming and often frustrating. I'd rather read a book, go on a walk, bake, sleep...anything, really.

That said, when I do shop, it's all or nothing. The last time I looked at shoes, I bought five pairs. The last time I went in to a Banana Republic Factory Store, I spent $400 (on a lot of stuff--good bargains). My co-workers know when I've gone shopping because I'm not recycling the same outfits.

But whenever I go to these darned online retail conferences, I get the shopping bug. I almost had a panic attack in one of our sessions today because I realized that I really should get a new dress for this wedding we have on Friday, when normally I'd be perfectly fine wearing something I've already got in my closet. (And, by the way, that guy from DSW talking about their new site relaunch is showing some really cute shoes on the screen...I wonder if they'd arrive in time if I bought them tonight?)

Retailers don't realize that another benefit of sharing their stories about merchandising and site integration and cross-channel optimization is increasing their sales.

Chad might want to guard the credit card tomorrow. I sense a spree coming on.

Smells fishy

I have read this quip from Janice three times and laughed out loud each time. A sign that it should be passed along:

Two fish are swimming along and bump into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam."

Get a move on

Our real estate agent told me last night about WalkScore.com, a website that tells you how "walkable" things are from a certain address. If we ever move, being able to walk places is really important to us--not only because of gas prices but for convenience.

So of course I had to figure out our current "walk score"--and it's 71, which is "Very Walkable: It's possible to get by without owning a car." I have no idea how that compares with other people's places, but it seems good to me. (Though we're still keeping the cars.)

Sorry, mom, I tallied your Walk Score and it's 0. That's one downside of living in the country. You still certainly can walk, it just won't take you anywhere.

Storytelling

You know you're old when you start to enjoy books on tape. So, it's official. I'm old.

We listened to Tim Russert's "Big Russ and Me" on the way back to DC on Sunday. I cried. (Not sure what's up with the raging hormones as of late, but I did.) If you haven't read...or, um, listened to...the book, I highly recommend it. Though be prepared for a bit of foreshadowing about death and loss and all sorts of other things that are now uncannily relevant.

Reality check

I'd be a bit remiss if I didn't write about this, though I'm not really sure how to put it into words. Pardon the ramblings...

In large part, we were back home last week to celebrate my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. My mom and her siblings rented out the Great House in Galesburg on Saturday afternoon and hundreds of people stopped by to give their best wishes to a couple who has been together six decades.

After the party, there were a bunch of us at the farm--all the kids and grandkids who were back, some second cousins and plenty of other people I didn't know. (That's what happens when you have such a huge extended family.) We were eating fried chicken, playing bocce, and Uncle Dave even opened wine from their own grapes for a toast. Talk about fun.

Sometime in the early evening, Grandma had a bit of a spell and lost consciousness for a bit. At the time, we weren't sure if it was a stroke, a seizure, or something minor. The tone of the party immediately went from spirited to subdued. Fortunately, my cousin Jake, an ER doctor in St. Louis, was on hand, and he took control of the situation. A group of bumbling idiots from the local volunteer fire department arrived, followed by an ambulance. Grandma headed off to the ER with my grandpa, two uncles, and her personal ER doc, of course!

Fortunately, everything checked out well at the hospital (chalk it up to a lot of excitement without enough to eat or drink) and Grandma came back home just in time to give Matt and Janine a gift at their surprise baby shower. It was quite a homecoming.

We had plenty of laughs about how Grandma was probably in the hospital telling the doctors if they'd just give her some aloe vera and a frozen silver dollar (her home remedy for everything) she'd be fine. Jokes about clean underwear, Grandma's funeral, and the volunteer EMTs were abundant. Laughter through tears is a powerful emotion, and this is one family that can find humor in everything.

The whole episode brought a sense of urgency to these rare family gatherings with a quiet reminder that we need to appreciate what and who we have as much as possible. After we were all back together around 9:00 that night, more than 30 of us (including Grandma and Grandpa!) sat outside around a bonfire until nearly midnight, enjoying each other's company and silently wondering when the next time would present itself that we could all be together again.

A decade's worth of junk

It’s amazing how time can change your perspective on what you really need and what you don’t. (Why on earth did I keep all of my notebooks and papers from high school and college? What a bunch of junk. The chemistry homework alone made me cringe!)

But I also found some real gems, like the graduation issue of our high school newspaper, The Budget, which included my brilliant comment from the section “In 10 Years: Predictions from the Class of 1996.” If I wasn't the editor-in-chief of the paper, I'd never believe I said this:

I will probably be working as a reporter for a television station somewhere, working my way to the big-time as an anchor on a prime time, nightly news broadcast. Or, if I’ve mellowed out by then, I’ll be living around here, teaching high school English and married with children. –Ellen Tolley

Riiiight. At least I can safely say that I’ve found a happy medium.

Life on the farm, Part 2

For those who have inquired, here is a snapshot of Lucy's life over the past several days:

Hoping for drippings off the grill

Playing fetch with Miriam

Gallavanting around in her own pool (with a special thanks
to my mother-in-law, who drug it out just for the occasion)

Munching on apples, chasing cats, and hanging out with all of us
who were remembering why God made summer

Life on the farm

It's a perfect week to be back in Illinois. The weather has been in the 70s and 80s every day with no humidity. Lucy is turning into a farm dog, chasing cats, taunting other dogs and taking naps in the shade. (She is still not too fond of being outside while we're inside, but we're working on that.)

We spent three great days with Chad's family, most of it outside. Miriam and Lucy became fast friends and the two of them whiled away the afternoons with walks, games of fetch and plenty of time for hide-and-seek. We had bets on which one of them would wear out first, but they both put on a good front and ran around with each other until about 9 p.m. on Sunday, when all of the adults got tired.

Rachel and I have realized that our past excuses of "it's too hot" or "it's too cold" cannot apply this week, so we must tackle going through the boxes of crap from high school and college that accumulated in our old bedrooms. I'm sure I'll find all sorts of stuff, much of which can promptly be thrown away. Meanwhile, Chad has been tasked with enough outdoor projects to keep him busy for a few days. And Lucy is trying to teach Daniel's wimpy dog Otis to bark when people pull in the driveway, though she is not succeeding.

I have forgotten how laid back and easygoing life on the farm can be. What a great week...and it's only Tuesday.