Lucy learns to swim

I mentioned earlier that we caught no fish during our excursion. One glance at the video below might give you an idea of how the fish might have been on to us.

Lucy was a bit apprehensive at the beginning, but after a few minutes in the water, she got the hang of this swimming thing.

Vacation by the numbers

10: minutes from a main road

9: a.m. wake-up nudgings from Lucy

8: bug bites

7: book chapters read

6: seats in the hot tub

5: naps

4: hours by the firepit

3: dinners off the grill

2: straight days of rain

1: shooting star

0: fish

See all of the pictures here.

Gone Fishin'

I don't remember who thought of this first, but we have decided to bid adieu to summer by renting a cabin in the Shenandoah Valley for a few days. Just the two of us, plus Lucy. By the time you read this, we'll be long gone!

We're escaping the city, spending a few days being anti-social, and, yes, going fishing. (Chad even bought poles.) I am bound and determined to teach Lucy to swim, or at least teach her that she doesn't need to be afraid of water higher than her legs. Chad is bound and determined to catch something (though I'm preparing a Plan B for dinner just in case).

A sidenote: We are not camping. My part of the deal was that we needed four walls, air conditioning, a kitchen, and running water. Chad wanted to be on a river and have a grill. All was accomplished.

There will be plenty of stories and photos when we return, I imagine, but until then, you won't hear a peep from us.

Creature of habit

Between 8:00-8:30 every day, I get into work, put my lunch in the fridge, and make one cup of Hazelnut Cream decaf coffee. I put in one packet of Splenda and one creamer. I walk into my office and tell myself that this really will be the day that I clean off my desk. I turn on my computer, pull out a Fiber One bar, check my voicemail messages, and go to work.

Then I let the coffee sit at my desk for 15 minutes before touching it because it's way too hot to drink.

Evaluating a friendship

Our friend Scott is getting married next year and is talking about a bachelor party in New Orleans. My brother-in-law Paul mentioned that he has never known anyone to have a bachelor party in New Orleans without someone getting arrested, to which Scott responded:

There are two kinds of friends. The one who bails you out of jail, and the one who sits next to you in a cell saying, "Man, that was fun."

We decided Chad was the latter. Perhaps I should start saving now.

On the road again

At 6:20 a.m., I opened my eyes. In this order, here's what went through my head:

I'm not home.
I'm not at my parents' house.
I don't think I've ever been here before. Looks like a hotel room.

Am I in California? Hmm...no. That was last month.
Denver? That was last week.
Oh, right. Columbus.

There's nothing quite like waking up wondering where you are. I've spent so little time in my own bed lately, I hope I'm not confused when I wake up there tomorrow morning!

Travel tips from a road warrior

I hit the road about once a month, and here's what I've learned:

• It's like visiting San Francisco: when flying, dress in layers. I always bring a pair of socks and a sweatshirt. Even if it's 100 degrees outside, I'll be cold on the flight.
• Conditioner provided by the hotel doubles quite well as shave gel. Simply slather it on before shaving and don't worry about how to get that 5-oz. can of shaving cream through security.
• Little hotel shampoo and conditioner containers work great for your own hair stuff (again, it will help with that 3-oz. rule). Likewise, little hotel soaps work great for when you have guests who shower at your house.
• If you forget any chargers (for a cell phone, Blackberry, computer, etc.), the hotel concierge probably has one. What else do you think they do with all the stuff people accidentally leave behind?
• Speaking of what people leave behind, if you leave behind something on an airplane, just consider it gone for good. I left my eyeglasses on a United flight last Tuesday (in the seatback pocket of 8A on flight 606) and I'm still getting the runaround!

Take a Hike

When Lucy and I started off on our walk tonight, I wasn't sure where we were going to wander. We ended up in Del Ray, then took a connecting street to the Masonic Temple outside Old Town and then returned. We passed a lot of neat restaurants I'd like to head back to someday.

I Googled our route when I got back and we walked 5.4 miles. Not too shabby!

The bad news in all of this is that, even after 5.4 miles, Lucy was moving as fast as ever. I, on the other hand, could barely make it in the front door.

Forget me not

It's enough to make me cringe. In the past week, I have neglected to send cards, emails, or call about these important events:

• My friend Chelli's birthday -- not only did she turn 30, it's her first birthday as a mom
• My Grandma's birthday -- Aug. 9
• My parents' anniversary -- Aug. 11

Today, my grandparents (mom's side) have been married for 60 years! Of course I forgot to send a card, but I did manage an email this morning. (I really need to work on this. ) Sixty years of marriage is a pretty amazing feat...and you probably have a greater respect for their union if you know their fiery personalities!

I am gaining a new respect for people who always get cards out on time for every major celebration. A special place in my heart is reserved for people who not only send cards for all of these milestones but also manage to time the delivery for the day itself, which is not easy to do when you have to work around the Postal Service.

Girls' night in

I came home from Denver one day early, just in time to catch both Chad's basketball playoffs and the women's gymnastics finals. Chad's upstairs watching the Cubs, while the girls are downstairs eating Baskin-Robbins and rooting on the USA.

Other than the fact that this will result in very little sleep (again...these darned Olympics), it's been quite an enjoyable evening.

Recess!

Chad's basketball team finished the season tonight by losing in the second round of the playoffs. (Of all the teams, the ones we played tonight were the rudest. It was a bummer to lose to them.)

That said, there was a teeny, tiny part of me a bit relieved that all these sports have ended. It's been a long summer and almost every night had something attached to it. During the game, I was thinking about how we can now enjoy the last few weeks of summer, walk to some restaurants at night, take Lucy for long walks, make good dinners...I really had it all planned.

I commented on this after the game to which Spencer, one of our good friends who plays on nearly every team with Chad, informed me that "summer sports are over, but fall softball starts next week."

What to do in Denver...

On the way to Denver this morning for a conference, I remembered that the last time I was here, we were on our mall tour in August 2001. It's been seven years!

I didn't remember the name of the mall--and I don't remember many other things about the city, except:

• We got really lost one night on the way back from the mall and ended up driving around until almost 2 a.m. because we were too proud to ask for directions (this was before cell phones and GPS systems, ie: the dark ages)
• I went on a run and realized after about five minutes that I can't breathe very well in this city...and then I gave up
• Dinner out at a Moroccan restaurant one night, which was very cool but I accidentally ate all of a "whole" shrimp (bleck--feet and shell and all)
• An afternoon trip up to Estes Park, which was beautiful. I would love to go back someday.

I get to the hotel and could not believe what it overlooks: the mall where we worked!

Tour buddies, does this look familiar? My, how this place has changed. For starters, the mall used to be in the middle of nowhere:

Calendar chaos

It's August, meaning it's time for everyone in the city to travel. Here's what we're doing for the next week:

Friday p.m.: Chad leaves for Chicago (guys' weekend for the Cubs/Cards game)
Sunday, 9 a.m.: Ellen leaves for business trip to Denver
Sunday, 1 p.m.: Chad returns
Wednesday, 9 a.m.: Chad leaves for business trip to Tennessee
Wednesday, 2 p.m.: Ellen returns
Friday, 5 p.m.: Chad returns

It's particularly ironic that we're missing each other by hours. Perhaps we can wave at each other in the air while one is landing and one is taking off.

My two cents about John Edwards

Former Presidential candidate John Edwards finally admitted that he had an affair.

...but he did not love the woman...
...but he did not father her child...
[and my personal favorite]
...but his wife's cancer was in remission...

As if THAT makes it all ok.

I do have to give him props for making this announcement on the opening day of the Olympics, while no one in America is paying attention. (And giving an exclusive to ABC, no less, which does not have the contract to cover the Olympics.) This is further proof from my June post that all news that people want to cover up gets announced on Friday afternoons.

A note from the boss

Thanks to my friend Robert for sending me this laugh today. (Hey, Robert--great minds think alike--I see you posted this on your blog too!)

Fortunately I don't work here...

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008 -- NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ' Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

--The Management

Dog people

Let me preface this post by admitting I have never been one of "those" dog people. In fact, you may remember when we first got Lucy that I didn't think I was up for any of this animal nonsense. Since then, I've put up with a lot of puppy stuff (and surprisingly enjoyed some of it). But Lucy's been with us four months and tonight I hit a new low.

There's an ice cream place in Del Ray called the Dairy Godmother, owned by a Wisconsin couple who, like the rest of us, accidentally ended out here permanently. I wanted more of a walk, so I wasn't in the mood to visit either of the ice cream places that are just a few blocks from our house. When I Googled it to figure out how far away it was (three miles was my cut-off, I decided), I found a shortcut--it was only a mile-and-a-half. Perfectly walkable!

In addition to great custard and sorbet, the Dairy Godmother has Puppy Pops, these yogurt/banana/peanut butter concoctions that they sell for 90 cents each. Yes, I bought one for Lucy. (And some raspberry sorbet for me.) Lucy didn't know what to think of it at first, but once she realized that it was frozen and it tasted good, the cup didn't last long. Janice and Nick joined us for ice cream and snapped this photo.

So, fine. I admit that I have become a dog person. Of my dog, at least. However, I will make a solemn vow. I will never, ever, ever buy my dog the "fortified water" that they are now selling at Petco. Even I think that's too much.

Home Alone 2008

The 1990 holiday hit "Home Alone" has come to life almost two decades later. An Israeli couple boarded a plane this weekend (to Paris, no less) and accidentally left behind one of their five kids in the airport. I'm not kidding--it's in the news today. Fortunately, all ended well and the three-year-old was found wandering around the terminal and reunited with her parents several hours later.

Personal diatribe: I don't have one kid, let alone five, so I'm probably not the best judge on this one. But the parents were on a chartered jet (ie: it was just them and their family), and they didn't know that one child was missing until they were informed by the cabin staff after 40 minutes in flight. How hard is it, when you're the only ones on a plane, to realize that there are six of you and not seven?

Nap, interrupted

There is no substitute for a good nap. And it's been a crazy weekend. People were here until 3 a.m. Saturday morning and 1:45 a.m. this morning. (I haven't been up this late for two consecutive nights in years.)

We ran errands early this afternoon and then put things away. I was finishing up a few things on the computer and decided to take a snooze for just a few minutes.

No sooner did I nod off than I felt something on my lap. Clearly, Lucy was unenthused that I was wasting away a perfectly nice afternoon on the couch when we could have been playing...