What's good with your life?

In putting together something for work today, I was looking for appropriate "small talk" questions to ask people. I stumbled upon a post by someone who said that he used to know a woman who would strike up a conversation with people by asking them, "What's good with your life?". That's a great way to get to the heart of what's really positive, isn't it?

Just spending a few seconds thinking about what was good in my life really put things into perspective. And there are a lot of things! I realized that, intentionally or completely subconsciously, I've been doing a lot of focusing on the negative as of late. Call it the CNN Effect, I don't know.

So I asked my friends on Facebook what is good with their lives, and I got back so many fabulous responses. Several of the new moms I know mentioned that they get to spend their days listening to a baby laugh; one said that a child in her classroom who was struggling to read at the beginning of the year just tested at an above-average grade level. A college friend, who I haven't heard from in ages, used the opportunity to tell me she's having a baby in November! These responses just made my afternoon.

Here's what's good with my life: I have an incredibly supportive husband. I still have a job. And I'm excited to go out for a monthly girls' night tonight with five very good friends (two of whom are my sisters).

In addition to thinking about what's good with my life, I love hearing everyone else's responses. Take the opportunity to tell me what's good with your life (or just give it some thought if you don't want to comment). Even if you're feeling great already, I can almost guarantee that it will make you feel better!

A note from Lucy

I was trying to be productive this afternoon. With a load of laundry in the dryer, a pile of summer and winter clothes to swap out, and a kitchen that needed some attention, I decided to forgo an afternoon excursion to get Lucy some exercise. I told Chad he should just take Lucy to the dog park himself since I was really going to try to spend some time checking things off the to-do list.

Lucy came upstairs as I was trying to gather another load of darks. I immediately noticed something weird hanging off her collar. Turns out, it was a note for me. I felt like I was in junior high. Here's what it said:


How do you say no to that? Let's just say, we all had fun. Especially Lucy, who spent almost an hour running around in the little stream. Sometimes, I've learned, it's ok to be spontaneous. After all, the laundry was still here when we got home.

Onward and upward

As a result of my crazy week, I've been eating junk, way too stressed, and not sleeping.

A colleague asked if I wanted McDonald's for lunch. I can't always justify it, but when I'm particularly jittery, as I've mentioned before, it makes me feel better. I decided that if I was going to splurge on McDonald's, I was going to make it a symbolic gesture to put things behind me.

It seems appropriate to bid adieu to my rotten week with a #10 value meal. Now, I'm done (I mean, after I finish my fries). Whatever happens, happens. I am moving on and placing this insanity in someone else's hands.

Happy birthday to Miriam!

Happy, happy birthday to our spitfire four-year-old niece, Miriam!

And thank you to my mother-in-law, Brenda, for making sure Miriam has a gift to open from us today. In addition, I am taking Miriam out for an afternoon when I'm home in May. I'm already thinking of where we can go to lunch--let's be honest, she's four...it will probably be McDonald's--and what we can do all afternoon. (This was Rachel's idea, and a good one--and thanks to Miriam's mom for saying yes!)

And the bottom drops out...

I have had the most unexpected, painful, gut-wrenching week in years. On Monday morning, our staff was told that our association was merging with another, similar group. In itself, this didn't come as a huge surprise; people have been speculating about that for years. But the fact that our CEO was retiring at the same time was a bit of a shock. A new association + new leadership = scary.

I'm working my way through the Kübler-Ross stages of grief, which I always relate back to every quasi-traumatic experience in my life. To be honest, I have spent seven years where I am, trying to build up the name of this group and the people inside of it. Now it's going away. So on Monday, I made it through denial, Tuesday was all about anger...but honestly, somewhere between 2 a.m and 5 a.m. this morning, while I was lying in bed, awake and thinking about all of this, I made it through the other stages. Unless, of course, this is some crazy trick my mind is playing on me.

I told Chad this whole experience reminded me of when I got dumped by an old boyfriend many years ago. I spent several days in some strange fog; yesterday, I realized at 7 p.m. that I had forgotten to eat breakfast or lunch. Seriously. And I wasn't even hungry.

On both occasions, my immediate reaction was that it was for the best--I really did know that. (In the case of my unexpected break-up, it was! Look who I ended up with!) But I was still so mad that I didn't see it coming and so frustrated that I didn't have a plan. The same is true for this. Chad can relate--remember, he worked for a member of Congress who lost re-election a few years ago. This is similar. And he's been incredibly supportive.

So, I'm dealing with it. None of us have any complete clarity on the safety of our jobs, at least not permanently, and we are all wondering what happens next to those other 100 people we work with every day who are our family, at least for 40 hours a week. Earlier today, I had finally gotten into a groove where I was spending so much time spearheading our effort to communicate this to staff and media that I was starting to feel better about at least having a project to keep myself occupied. (We announced the news formally this morning and I was in the office at 6:30 a.m. to make sure it went smoothly.)

That is, until tonight, when Chad asked me, "What did we decide to get Miriam for her birthday?" My heart sank to my stomach. Again.

My niece, Miriam. I love this little girl. I l-o-v-e her. She is the oldest. She is stubborn. She is what Dr. Dobson would call a "strong-willed child." I get that. Let's be honest, I am that. I hope I am blessed with one of my own just like her someday (though in some of those moments I imagine I may want to take that comment back). I have been thinking for a month about what we could send for her birthday.

On Sunday night, we decided that I would select Miriam's birthday present and mail it. (Chad doesn't pawn this off on me--I love buying her presents!) But on Monday, the bottom dropped out of my life, at least temporarily. And by Wednesday night, I realized I had failed as an aunt. Four-year-olds don't accept the I'm-sorry-your-aunt-and-uncle-got-busy-and-your-gift-will-arrive-soon line. And it's too late for me to buy and send anything. I'm hoping my mother-in-law will bail me out of this one.

The Sunshine State

We had so much fun on our long weekend to Florida for our friends' wedding. The wedding wasn't until 6 p.m. on Saturday night, so we had all day to go exploring. We drove Longboat Key, spent about 90 minutes lying around and walking down a magnificent beach, and had lunch outside in St. Armand's Circle. Our splurge of the trip was renting a convertible (my compromise with Chad since we booked a flight out of Baltimore).

The wedding was fabulous--Mike and Ashleigh were beaming the whole time and it was so nice to see some old friends. They got married on the grounds of the Ca d'Zan mansion, formerly the winter home of John Ringling, who founded the Ringling Barnum & Bailey Circus. The wedding was on the front lawn and the reception was in the back, and the weather really could not have been more perfect.

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Chad loving life in our rented convertible

The beach where we spent about an hourHow cool is this seahorse made of shells?All dressed up and waiting for the wedding to startFor those who were wondering, my shoes arrived!My seat at the ceremony -- amazing!View of the reception location through the
stained glass windows of the mansion
By the waterMy seat at the receptionEnjoying time with old friends

First impressions

Our office has been buzzing about this woman who appeared on Britain's Got Talent, the UK version of American Idol, last Saturday night. I just got a chance to figure out what they're talking about.

Apparently the Brits don't have the age requirements of American Idol because the woman is 47 years old, a bit dowdy and unimpressive-looking, and says she wants to be a star. Needless to say, her first impression left the audience and the judges a bit skeptical. She said she was going to sing a song from Les Miserables and they laughed at her. (I know that music well and the songs are incredibly difficult, even for people with great voices.)

Watch what happens next. Even Simon was impressed!

Since this aired, this newfound star has been interviewed by the Early Show, written about in the LA Times, and featured in People magazine. Even Oprah has put in a request to have her appear. The woman who originally performed this song said she was brought to tears by the performance.

Let this woman and her amazing talents be a reminder to all of us that sometimes things aren't exactly what they seem. And that you're never too old to realize a dream.

Say a little prayer

You may have seen the photo to the right of my blog that reads, "Praying for Olivia."

Olivia is the two-year-old daughter of our friends Zac and Julie. Chad and Zac grew up together and went to college together, which is where they met Julie. In Olivia's short life, she's had two open-heart surgeries, been diagnosed with leukemia, and they found out last week that she has heart disease and lung disease, neither caused by the other. She is currently on a ventilator at a Children's Hospital in Illinois.

Julie is an optimist by nature, so it's hard for me to always get a good sense of how everyone is doing. What I do know is that Olivia does not seem to be doing well, and yesterday was a particularly bad day.

What has amazed me the most in this nearly-three-year timeline is how hopeful, sensible, and humbled Julie and Zac remain. I can't imagine how debilitating it would be to have a child who is so, so sick, yet they are still able to keep a perspective that they are part of something bigger.

A comment Julie made on her blog this morning brought me to tears. In describing how they weighed the options of putting Olivia on a heart and lung bypass machine, of which she would likely never be taken off, Julie wrote, "What it ultimately came down to was whether we want to put our trust in technology, which has a higher probability of failing us, or put our trust in God, who never fails us." That type of faith is incredible to me.

Most of us have problems. (And if you don't, please call me. I want to know your secret.) Work is busy, our house isn't clean, our kids or pets or spouses or co-workers are driving us nuts, bills are piling up... But here is a family going through an incredible ordeal unlike any most of us will ever experience. Please pray that Olivia, her parents, and her brother and sister (who are seven and five) find the strength and peace required to deal with this. To know more, visit Julie's blog for an update.

Cooking class

On Monday night I made a beef and shrimp stir-fry from scratch without having to go to the grocery store for supplies. I was quite proud of myself, as I don't deviate from recipes very often but needed to since I was not in the mood to go to Safeway for $5 worth of ingredients. Chad took a picture of this to commemorate the occasion. He wanted to title this picture, "Ellen finally cooks." (He loves to give me grief for not cooking every single night of the week, but don't let him fool you. He actually enjoys making meals a few nights a week. Or at least that's what I tell myself!)


He then focused his attention on the dog. I asked Chad why he was taking more pictures of Lucy than me, to which he replied that "Lucy does a better job of posing." So here she is, too, sitting patiently nearby and hoping for something to fly out of the wok:

Footloose & fancy-free

I have the world's most darling dress to wear to our friends' wedding in Florida this weekend. Problem? As of yesterday, I didn't have a single pair of shoes to go with them.

Since I already had the dress, I decided to splurge on a new pair of shoes. You'd think with the yellow/pink/red/green/blue/purple/gray/tan combination in the dress, it would be beyond easy to find a pair that matches. Well, it's not. (For a photo of the dress, check out this blog post from last July. Perhaps to some fashionistas I am committing a cardinal sin by wearing a dress again, but since there is only one couple that will have gone to the same wedding as us, it's pretty much new to everyone else. And I like it.)

I've looked and looked, consulted friends and sisters, considered spending wayyy too much money if I found "the perfect pair," and then, lo and behold, today I found them. (And they weren't expensive. Certainly cheaper than a new dress.) They are just the right shade of deep purple. Fabulous.

I only have two concerns: 1) I hope they arrive by Thursday and 2) I hope they look good with the dress!

Easter traditions

Last year, I blogged about my favorite Easter memories. Afterward, I remember being concerned that there was really no way to tell "my" Easter apart from others. Even from one year to the next, things were different. But this year, I think we've nailed down two Easter traditions:

Grandma Davis's homemade rolls. These incredible rolls are Chad's favorite and, rumor has it, even though he shunned potatoes and breads and rice and pasta as a kid, he could eat and eat Grandma's rolls. Last year for Easter, I surprised him by making these after she was kind enough to send me the recipe. While I'm sure these come second-nature to her, I'm still learning. Anything that involves kneading is not my forte, but they turned out well. (Not as good as hers, but they were a lot better this year than last.)

I have since learned that the rolls are a permanent Easter fixture. When I asked Chad what he wanted for dinner, I think his response was something like, "You mean other than Grandma's rolls?" I'm pretty sure he mentioned them before ham.

Easter baskets. Who says kids should have all the fun? Starting this year, anyone who comes to Easter at my house gets an Easter basket. And they have to hunt for it. I had a great time finding candy and little lip balms and other trinkets for our guests' baskets this year. And in true Grandma Cathy fashion, we used hats instead of baskets. That was my Plan B after I went to four stores and they were all sold out. You wouldn't know we're in a recession from the bare shelves in the Easter section around here.

Take a bite out of this

Hoppy Easter

To my aunts and other relatives who have been commenting lately on people's fashion choices, I hope I passed the test!

After this interview, I went to tape a segment for Good Morning America. I am officially talked out and ready for the weekend.

Shop talk

I spent an hour this afternoon at the mall doing a walk-and-talk TV interview with Good Morning America, which will air Sunday. (This was a bit of a surprise--I thought I was going to tape something for our local ABC station.) After the taping was over, the producer and camera guy mentioned that it was a solid interview that covered everything they needed.

"Wow," she said. "You're a great talker." (Not sure how to read that, but I took it as a compliment.)

"Thank you," I said. "My parents have known that for 30 years."

Words of wisdom

A high school friend recently told me something fabulous: "Never take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with." Really and truly, how spot-on is that?

So I've been thinking lately about some of the tried-and-true directives I've received over the years. This has been a work-in-progress over the last few weeks, but here's what has come to mind:

On compliments: "If someone says something nice about what you're wearing or how you look or about something you did, don't make excuses. Just say thank you." --mom

On savings: "Always have $1,000 set aside in case something goes wrong." --dad (I was 15 and barely had a comma in my checking account, so this was a real bummer of a realization)

On fashion: "Never wear white pants or white shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day." --Aunt Phyll (and I can't forget this one because she reminds us every year)

On portion control: "If you put it on your plate, you eat it." --Grandma Cathy (I spent a lot of time protesting at her kitchen table looking at a half-empty plate after, as she would say, "my eyes were bigger than my stomach")

On coupons: "Never use a coupon on something you weren't going to buy anyway." --mom

On having the right perspective: "Ask yourself, in five years, will this matter?" --Chad

On phone conversations: "No matter who answers the phone, introduce yourself and say hello." --dad (This has benefited me so substantially in my career that I can't even quantify it. Receptionists love me, which often gets me access and opportunities that others don't have.)

On clothes: "Don't feel badly for spending a little more on something that fits better. And get rid of those ugly jeans." --Rachel

On loyalty: "You can be disappointed in people and still love them." --mom

On sports: "Never use the phrase, "They played a good game" if they lost." --Chad (The same also goes for, "There's always next season")

On taking a break: "Sometimes you just need to say, "Stop, World! I want to get off!" --Grandma Marge

On winding down: "One glass of great champagne at 5:00 on Friday afternoon is a perfect start to the weekend you deserve." --Aunt Rita, who asked that I update my post to include this (see comment below) ...and, for the record, I think she's right!

Sports widow

Within 24 hours, Chad has played his first sport of the season (football last night--they lost 3-0...a puny score, but they played great defense against a really good team) and the Cubs' season opened. He's in a quandary right now because he can't decide if he wants to watch the college basketball championship or the Cubs vs. Astros. In these moments, I remind myself that I really did want to marry an athlete and sports fan.

I think I've quietly convinced Chad to pull back on a few leagues, so this spring he'll only have softball double-headers on Saturdays and Tuesdays plus football on Sunday nights. Oh, and on Mondays and Thursdays he has volunteered to "fill in" on two other softball leagues. I'm nearly positive that is guy-code for "I'll play every week, just don't tell my wife I've committed," but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. For now.

As Rachel said to me the other day, "At least when your kids are involved in stuff like this, you'll already be used to the schedule." No kidding, I said. And if I play my cards right, Chad will be their coach so I can spend a quiet night at home!

Here's a recap:

Football season opener

Cubs lead 3-0

Lucy, under the couch, already tired of this nonsense

Home, Sweet Home

It's been an usually chaotic few weeks and I realized the other day how desperately I need a vacation. I'm starting to be concerned that I am no longer fun to be around.

Tonight, we booked flights to go home for a family get-together at the end of May and I've decided to stay in Illinois an extra week. My only plan is not to do any work. (This will likely be difficult for me.) Other than that, I'll take life as it comes. Sleep in. Play with my nieces and my cousins. Spend time outdoors. Read a few good books. Visit my grandparents.

While my technical "home" is in Virginia (ie: my house), my real "home" is still where I grew up. It's lots of trees and open spaces. Having someone else cook my favorite meals. Sleeping with the windows open. Smells of dirt and grass and animals. Playing "just one more game" of cards even though it's late. No traffic. It's Life at five miles-an-hour. And I love it!

Even though this little break from reality isn't here yet, just buying the tickets put me in a better mood. Now that have something to look forward to, I will hopefully I'll be a tad more tolerable to my colleagues for the next 57 days. Not that I'm counting.