There are all sorts of things people don't tell you about having a baby (couldn't someone have warned me that I would never be able to eat a hot meal again?), but one in particular is really messing with me.
Let me introduce you to Phantom Baby Syndrome, which I have defined as the uncanny ability of a mother to hear a baby - any baby - cry. While the wailing is sometimes real, it is often imaginary, leading new mothers to wonder if they truly are losing their minds.
New parents, beware: PBS comes on suddenly and often without warning. Sleep deprivation or stress makes it worse. Prolonged PBS can often lead to trouble breathing, stomach aches, distracted conversations with friends, inability to concentrate, and sprints across your house for no reason. There is no cure.
I must admit: I suffer from chronic PBS. My symptoms began about two days after we brought Jackson home from the hospital and continue almost constantly. I swear I heard Jackson crying last week when I was out on a walk (and he was at home with Chad). My baby radar picked up a newborn's fussing three aisles away at Target. A few nights ago in my sleep, I groggily walked over to Jackson's crib ready to stroke his hair or pop in a pacifier or (worst case scenario) pick up and rock him only to find a nearly-snoring baby contentedly sleeping with his mouth wide open. He hadn't made a sound. Sheepishly, I went back to bed. That was a new low.
I take solace in the fact that I am not alone. Though not widely talked about, many moms and dads silently suffer with PBS. My only question to them is: When does it end?
5 comments:
hmmm...someone should have warned you about this! my PBS so bad that i would wake up and think the baby was in bed with us, and i must have rolled over and smothered him - which is weird since as newborns neither baby slept with us. but it does end - when they start sleeping through the night :)
Linda & I both suffered from PBS! More so Linda than me, but we both thought we heard a screaming baby, only to go check on Evan and see he was sleeping soundly. And it happened as soon as we brought him home from the hospital... Isn't that crazy how your mind can play tricks on you?!
PBS is preparing you for the future (particularly the teen years when the night is an open canvas for all sorts of mischief, imagined or real)- you will not sleep soundly again till your youngest child is around 25 years old. Take heart,however- your body will adjust,leaving you relatively refreshed each morning even though you haven't slept soundly for years. Beginning in just a few years, you & Chad must be ever alert - for dear sweet Jackson will be capable of all sorts of mischief,some of which you may want to rescue him from or save yourself a humiliating trip to a neighbor's teepeed house or,god forbid, the local police station.
Sorry to say, but it hasn't ever ended for us. I still jolt awake thinking I've heard one of the girls crying. And I can't tell you the number of times I've made Brad mute the television 'cause I swear one of them is calling for me or him after we have put them to bed. Brad however does not suffer from this nearly as much as I do. I think it is the mother's protective instincts which needs their "babies" to be safe that messes with our minds. I can say it does ease some though, or you just get use to it and learn not to jump at every little whimper, real or perceived! :)
Even with a baby monitor turned up full volume by my head, if I wake up from PBS I have to see if the red lights are going off that SHOW me if E is crying or sleeping. And I will stare at it for five minutes with my bad eye closed and good, albeit bleary, eye firmly fixed until I'm satisfied he is legitimately asleep.
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