Meltdown in aisle five

My friend Linda has always bemoaned my love of Target. When we were living together in St. Louis, I'd drag her in "just for a couple of things" and we'd end up spending hours - and a lot more money than we'd planned. I've loved that place since college.

Well, I've found a way to get me in and out of Target in 15 minutes, spending less than $40 in the process.

Go shopping with my son.

On Tuesday afternoon we went to Target to get a handful of small household things and a birthday present for Chad. I timed this perfectly: It was that sweet spot after naptime and before mealtime when Jackson is usually at his most charming. I figured I had an hour to browse the aisles, pick up a few snacks and cleaning supplies, peruse for the perfect gift and make it home with time to spare.

But that didn't happen. After about ten minutes in the store, Jackson decided he absolutely had enough and proceeded to have a complete meltdown in the shopping cart. We're talking about a gasping-for-breath screamfest. For absolutely zero reason, other than he apparently hates Target.

You've never seen me pick out a birthday present so fast.

My favorite part ~ Upon checkout, the very well-meaning clerk was trying to diagnose his ails:

- Ahh, he must be hungry.
  No, he's not hungry. He just ate.

- He must be tired.
  No. He just woke up from a two-hour nap.

- Maybe he needs a hug.
  Ok, seriously lady. I'm about to ring this all up myself.

At that point I must have looked at her with the exhaustion and frustrations of a new mother, because she stopped with the grand inquisition...and proceeded to ask me if I'd like to save 10% on my purchases for signing up for their credit card. (Umm...no thank you. And pretty sure the people in line behind me don't want me doing that, either.)

As the proverbial icing on the cake, as soon as the doors opened up to the outside Jackson stopped screaming, looked straight at me, and...smiled. Hmph.

This is why I shop online.