Dance, Dance, Dance

There are some days my spirited child just exhausts the hell out of me. There are many other days that this energy and enthusiasm gives me a boost that I need to bring a smile to my face when I get frustrated or makes me push the gas pedal a little harder when I'm heading to daycare in the afternoons.

When we were back in Illinois over July 4, Jackson demonstrated his love for the King by busting a move every time my mom would turn on her Elvis tunes. (Further proof that this child is a Shragal through and through - that side of the family has had Elvis jokes going back 25 years.)

And ever since then, Jackson will walk up to a radio or an iPhone, proclaim "DANCE!" and put his hands into fists then wait for the music. Sometimes when there is no music, he'll just sway side to side singing, "Dance, Dance, Dance..." in the hopes that he can carry himself through with the thoughts in his head.

Let me preface, I have no idea where these moves come from - the spinning, the gestures, the rhythm...no idea. But, oh man, this little dude makes me laugh. As one of my good friends said, "Save that one for the wedding video."

A day in the life...

This one is for all the stay-at-home moms I know...And I don't know how you do it.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. There was no sign of the dog.

Walking in the door, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over and the throw rug was against one wall. In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was all over the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife curled up in bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world do I do all day?

''Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

And they all lived happily ever after

I am only laughing because Chad did not send this to me.

If he had, it would be a very different story.

Bubblelicious

Dog + Baby + Bubbles = Hilarious

We all should have a few things we put away in the back of our minds in case we're ever having one of those days.

Well, today, I found another "thing:" A baby's reaction after watching her dog chase bubbles. As the icing on the cake...this is the daughter of a high school classmate of mine who shares videos of his child on YouTube (like we do) for long-distance friends and family. It just so happens that this video has gone viral and, since April 7, has been viewed over 224,000 times (and counting!). Ellen DeGeneres featured it on her show. Local TV stations have been broadcasting it all day. And celebrities have been Tweeting about it.

If this doesn't bring a smile to your face, well, I'm afraid there's just no hope for you.



I might need to see what Lucy thinks of bubbles. If I could recreate this scene on demand in our living room, I might never be in a bad mood again!

That's what I said. Period.

I've always been a bit of a grammar nerd. I'm not sure if it's because my mom would constantly interrupt me when I was using it poorly or if I was just so bad at math and science that I needed to find something I was good at. Regardless, I can spot an error a mile away. (That's not always a good thing. In fact, it often drives Chad crazy.)

This morning, I was finishing up a few things in the kitchen before heading out the door. Jackson was still sleeping. Chad was in the shower. I wanted to make sure he knew about a couple of things, so I left him a post-it on the kitchen window.

I scribbled it quickly, slapped it on the glass and started to laugh. This note would read very differently without the period, wouldn't it?

Lab lessons

This dog just won't learn. (Though, one could argue, neither do her owners.)

On Monday night while I was at kickboxing, Lucy stumbled upon and opened a bottle of Mucinex. Chad came home about an hour after I left to an open bottle and six pills scattered on the upstairs rug.

We weren't totally sure that she'd had any of them - after all, knowing Lucy, if she ate one she'd eat 'em all - but after the ibuprofen incident a few years ago we learned our lesson on how toxic some medicines are for dogs. So we called the animal poison control hotline. (Of course our vet had already closed for the evening. Murphy's Law says that dogs never have an "incident" when the vet is actually open.)

The folks on the phone took all the info on Lucy, what she - potentially - got into and how much, and tried to understand if she was acting any different (she wasn't). Then they had us induce vomiting which, let's just say, was not a fun experience for any of us. Since she didn't yak up any pills (too much information, I know), we inferred that she probably didn't eat any of them and decided not to take her to the emergency animal hospital.

The poison control folks recommended that we "monitor" Lucy ourselves for the apparently critical four-hour window when she could start to go downhill. Pay special attention for any signs of agitation, they said.

What kind of agitation, we asked?

Well, the woman said, any signs of hyperactivity - inability to sit still, constantly wanting to play or run around, pacing, or getting up and changing positions often when she's sleeping.

We gave each other a look. I stifled a laugh. Chad paused before responding to our new poison control friend, who obviously did not know Lucy well: "I did say she's a Lab, right?"

And, by the way, she's going to be fine. Again.

Hey dad...surprise!

The list of what we need to do to get ready for baby is longer than my arm. Now I know why God lets it cook in there for nine months!

We haven't done a thing - except put Baby Davis on a few daycare waiting lists - and since we've just got five months left, it's probably time to start thinking about the rest. One of the places we decided to register is Amazon.com - free shipping over $25 and they're cheap with a good selection. (Don't look at our registry yet - there is literally nothing on it. More on that in a future post when my mind is not all melted.)

I put Chad on the registry too, since he's obviously got a vested interest in this and I wanted him to be able to add or delete items as well. Shortly after signing up, I get a gChat from him:

Chad:  "Ellen Davis has asked us to let you know that you have been named as Ellen's joint Baby Registry partner at Amazon Baby"

me:  Aren't you flattered?

Chad:  um...is it just me or does that read like a way at least one guy has found out he was going to be a father?

Are you talking to me?

The minister at the small church Chad's family attends was preparing to give the Children's Sermon yesterday, which generally provides a few kid-friendly pieces of food for thought. He called up all the youngsters, including our two nieces and just a few other kids. They sat politely in the very front row.

He paused.

"Do any of you ever have a hard time making decisions?" he began.

Chad nudged me, leaned over and whispered, "You might want to go up there for this."

Family ties

Why haven't I written for the last two weeks, you ask? Not because I've been busy. Not because nothing has happened. But simply because I haven't felt like it. So, sorry. Kind of.

But here's something that made me laugh:

Earlier today, Rachel, Paul, Janice, Nick and I got an email from Chad with the subject, "New Thanksgiving Day tradition." Here's what he proposed:

So I was trying to think of something that all of us could begin doing, as a family, that would really bring everyone together on Thanksgiving.  It's such a great holiday and a tremendous time to spend with family and friends.  The history of it all is also something that should be remembered on that great day.  As I pondered these two thoughts, I arrived at the perfect solution.  I propose we celebrate Thanksgiving in Miami this year.  I can think of no place better for all of us to truly appreciate Thanksgiving this year than Miami, FL.  I mean Columbus landed just 400 miles south of Miami and had this not occured, who knows if this great land would have ever been founded, as we know it.  I know as everyone considers this they will agree with my thoughts and I look forward to spending Thanksgiving in Miami with all of you this year.

On a COMPLETELY separate note: while we are down there, it could be fun to take in the Bears-Dolphins game that night.

Nevermind that Nick and I both work on Black Friday, Chad says. He's sure our respective bosses would appreciate the significance of Miami enough to give us that day off.

Kid-friendly

I love reading The Onion, a satirical "newspaper" that was started by two students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. This caption from their "news in photos" section had me laughing out loud.

And that's never a good thing when I'm supposed to be working.

Tossing and turning

We spent months hemming and hawing over whether we should buy a new house. While the prospect was enticing, we've decided to stay put and freshen up a few things here instead of dealing with the hassle of moving or spending gobs of money on a new place. Since then, I've been on a mission to get rid of the worthless stuff we never use.

After cleaning out and throwing away a huge garbage bag full of things from our kitchen drawers yesterday afternoon (I'll take Pens That Don't Work for $500, Alex), I tackled the basement. I cleaned out and put into the Goodwill pile a bookcase and a bunch of board games, then went through a zillion shelves in the utility room. I found stuff that was left here when we bought the place...six years ago! It was therapeutic.

After taking another armload of junk upstairs, I hustled back into the basement, nearly satisfied with my progress. But I started to wonder if I'd taken things a little too far when I heard Chad whisper to Lucy: "Just sit here and be really quiet. I'm starting to worry if we make too much noise she's going to throw us out, too."

The end of the world!

These storms are a meteorologist's best friend. The weathermen around here are practically giddy...not only because of all the snow, but because - this time - they've been right. Typically they get themselves all wound up in a tizzy and then we barely get any snow....or rain...or whatever.

Perhaps you will appreciate this news clip from a Baltimore weatherman about as much as I did. This was from last Friday...and it's not a joke.

And, by the way, for those of you who haven't read weather reports yet, we could get another 10 inches of snow tomorrow night. No word yet on if the federal government is closed tomorrow, but they almost certainly will also be closed Wednesday and maybe even Thursday. Gee, sure am glad Chad spent two hours today digging out his car.

Trouble...

I've written before about one of our favorite ads. Here's the latest spot that we just need to stop, rewind and watch about a little dog who is paranoid that someone is going to steal his bone. We especially love the scene where he's dreaming.

(Bonus points if you can figure out who this song reminds us of. Hint: She gets in trouble a lot.)

Do not call

My friend Scott, who is also my boss, assured me that he'd be reachable by phone for the rest of this week while he and his fiancé, Robyn, put the final touches on their wedding (tomorrow!).

Considering he'll be out of commission for the next two weeks on his honeymoon, I took him up on his "really, call anytime" statement with a quick question this morning.

He answered the phone but his mind was clearly no longer at work. "Why does no one tell you how much crap there is to finish in the 48 hours before a wedding!" he practically screamed into the phone. "Do you have any idea much stuff we have to do?!? How am I going to get all of this done?!?"

"Gee, I had no idea it was that crazy," I said dryly, remembering the chaotic few days before we got married. "I think weddings are like childbirth -- no one who has been there before tells you what it's going to be like until it's too late to turn back. Otherwise you might change your mind."

Silence.

"Ok," he said, grumbling. "I'll take a look at what you sent me in 15 minutes. Right after I go pick out this stationary."

Where I live

If you want to know where we live (ok, one town over), watch this hilarious video. I've now been sent it by four people this afternoon and I am still laughing.

Dear diary...

A friend sent this to me this afternoon and I had to share. The laugh was needed!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

Take a bite out of this

Everything's better with bacon

About five years ago, Chad and I were having a discussion with some friends about the merits of bacon. Not the health benefits, mind you, but how adding bacon as an ingredient just naturally makes everything better. Salads, sandwiches, steaks...really, think about it. (I'm sure it comes as no surprise that the men were leading this conversation.)

Since then, we have occasionally stumbled back on this topic. Inevitably, someone will suggest a food item (soup? bread? ice cream?) whose marriage with bacon seems suspect. But every time one of these food groups is suggested, somebody else finds a way to incorporate bacon that makes it seem feasible. (As repulsive as it may sound, there is a bacon ice cream. I checked.)

But today, I found one that trumps all for the bacon lovers I know. If we ever have our "Everything's Better With Bacon" party, which has been threatened, I am making the Bacon Explosion, which was featured in the New York Times earlier this week. They call it a "massive torpedo-shaped amalgamation of two pounds of bacon woven through and around two pounds of sausage and slathered in barbecue sauce."

As my friend Robert asked when I emailed him this article, "Does the cardiologist come with it, too?"

How rude

Frosty, I am appalled.

Letters to God

I got this email with children's letters to God today. It was so good, I'm posting my favorites: