Pay it forward

A quick update on Sunday's post, for those of you concerned I was losing my mind (and I kind of was): I was so hung up on what the books were telling me on napping and scheduling and psychobabble that I ignored my mommy instinct. After paying closer attention to Jackson yesterday, I realized something was actually wrong.

After a call to the pediatrician and a quick trip to CVS, our little buddy is back to his normal self. He's hardly perfect but at least we're over that hump of screaming for no reason. I even managed to photograph an ear-to-ear smile from him for the first time today...and make a batch of cookies, do a load of laundry, shower (and dry my hair and put on make-up), AND eat lunch! The angels were smiling on me today, I'm sure of it!

But back to my original headline...

I've mentioned before that we're so lucky to have an incredible group of friends out here that I really consider a second family. When we had Jackson, we didn't cook for two weeks. When Chad had his knee surgery, a friend took the day off work to stay at our house with a one-week-old baby all day long (three others volunteered - there was literally a list of takers!). And we've had more than one email from people who have said, "I'm free on [fill in the blank]. Why don't I come over for a few hours so you and Chad can go to dinner?" Umm...you don't have to ask me twice!

So last week when I was making lasagna for us, I made extra: One for some friends of ours who just had a baby girl and another for Chad's family friends who just moved to town with their three-week-old. In those first few foggy days of parenthood, I appreciated more than I can say how nice it was to open the fridge and find something to eat when I couldn't even remember if I'd brushed my teeth. It was time for us to pay it forward.

We didn't invite ourselves in, just did a little drop-and-run with a smile on our faces. Even if they hated the lasagna, it made me happy. And if I ever feel like I have time in my life again, I'll be doing things like this even more often!

Rolling out the red carpet

Every year, Chad and I host a summer party with a different theme and invite all of our friends. Last year's theme, which I documented with a few photos, was "redneck." This year, it was "At the Movies." And unlike the past few years, we had absolutely perfect - and I do mean perfect - weather. What a fun end-of-summer night to spend with lots of friends.

I am still laughing about the costumes and the creativity in our group. We had about 40 people show up - some moviegoers and paparazzi, a few tennis players and cartoon characters. We had some 80's flashbacks and some totally random characters that no one, really, has ever heard of. Chad and I went as the teenage couple from Juno, though managed not to get a photo of us together all night. But here were some of the best ensembles:

Our friends Mark, Brigid and Dan, who came as the Trolls from Troll 2

 

April, Tom and Braden as the couple from Raising Arizona
(for the second year in a row, the O'Reilly's won Best Couple/Family)

Our friend Aaron, who is really from Australia, came as the Crocodile Hunter (Line of the night from one of our friends who didn't know Aaron previously: "How long have you been working on that accent?" to which Aaron replied, "Umm...about 32 years.")

 

Sarah and Spencer, contenders in the Best Couple category,
had quite an inventive ensemble from Dodgeball

Our friend Jenn, who won the Best Girl category
with her Breakfast Club persona

Rob, a contender for Best Guy, who came as one of the main characters in The Hangover

Brigid and I are both really pregnant and both came as Juno

And the costume of the night went to Paul, who completed a flawless Cousin Eddie with a see-through white sweater, green Dickie, tight pants, and patent leather shoes (and don't forget the moose mug!)

Now can you see why I'm still laughing - and already looking forward to next year's party?

The great cake debate, Part II

This has been a fantastic week!

My second cake in the great cake debate arrived today from my buddy Godmund (ok, it was for the whole office but I did get a good-sized piece). A nice dense white cake with buttercream frosting layered with raspberry jam and blueberries.

Since it had fruit in it it, I figured was fair game for breakfast, so my piece is already gone.

The cake was so good, I am giving Godmund a pass that this is what it looked like when it arrived:

(See? Absolutely everything in this city - even cakes - is political.)

And, no, I will not announce a winner in my grand experiment. Both cakes were amazing. Besides, choosing a favorite might make one of them less inclined to bake in the future. I'm doing everyone a favor by remaining impartial!

Let them eat cake! ...for breakfast?

Last week, two of my colleagues (one current, one former) - who both happen to be men and amazing dessert masters - were mired in a political debate on Facebook.

Always the opportunist, I proposed a solution: "I'll settle this. Each of you bake me a cake and I'll pick the winner. Deal?"

It's amazing what people do for you when you're pregnant.

This morning I swung by my friend Robert's office building to pick up three huge pieces of red velvet cake (Chad's new favorite, so he gets one - and RT gets the other). I put it in the fridge, but I can still hear it calling my name from the other side of the office.

I'm pretty sure the real winner of this political discussion is...me.

The only question is, How early is too early to eat it?

Oh, baby

You couldn't have planned it this way if you tried, but here's the schedule:

• Nov. 26: Baby #2 expected for our good friends Charlie and Tracy
• Dec. 2: Baby #2 expected for our friends Pete and Gwen
• Dec. 5: First baby expected for our friends Mark and Brigid (we were both in their wedding, and Chad lived with them for a year when he moved to DC)
• Dec. 9: First baby expected for me and Chad (Yes, you read that right. Almost 14 weeks and feeling good!)

And then we found out about Chad's co-worker, whose wife is expecting their first...second...AND third babies on Dec. 2, though she'll most certainly deliver months early. I told Chad the idea of having triplets puts our one baby in perspective.

More on that later, but it's going to be a Baby Extravaganza here on the East Coast this Christmas!

You are what you eat

I went to a wedding shower for Janice yesterday with some of my favorite gals on the planet. The theme was "kitchen" (I gave Janice my favorite chopper from Pampered Chef - an amazing little tool that doubles as a stress-reliever) and the game was all about food. Oh, and the spread in the kitchen was simply to die for. Let's just say we had food on the brain.

Somewhere between opening gifts and guessing whether Nick said Janice preferred chocolate or vanilla, we got to talking about our secret food cravings. "What do you eat when your husband isn't home?" someone asked, and we all took it from there.

A few admitted their love of bologna - a desire I have never shared, even when mom would cut it into sixths and put ketchup on it and try to pawn it off as "pizza". Others talked about melting chocolate chips on Ritz crackers or eating peanut butter straight from the jar. One makes homemade dill dip and just has that with veggies for dinner. Another has perfected s'mores in the microwave.

I mentioned my weakness for those 75-cent Banquet chicken pot pies - and of course I always carve an "E" in the top like mom used to, even though it's not like I have to keep more than one pie straight since no one on this earth will eat them with me.

While all random, we were collectively taken aback by this: a "white trash sandwich" (her words, not mine), which consists of Wonder bread, grape jelly and a slice of cheddar cheese. This friend of mine has been eating them since she was 8, and apparently still sneaks a few in here and there when her husband is working late.

After that, my pot pies sounded perfectly normal.

Toy story

Our friends' annual holiday party, which brings in lots and lots of toys for needy kids, was a raging success again this year. It's crazy to see how this party has grown from seven of us sitting in the living room of a two-bedroom apartment in 2002 to...this:


This year, the party featured...

4 kids, including my two favorite sisters...

Incredible food, as usual:

The debut of this year's addition to Paul's Christmas sweater
lovingly crafted by my mother, who realizes it's kind of a joke:

More than $1000 in donated toys, including a Jay Cutler action figure
and Easy Bake oven, which I opened...

...and this breadmaker, which has regifted itself through our group of friends for the last six years but, to my knowledge, has never been opened.

A spooky celebration

Over the weekend, we headed back to St. Louis for the wedding reception of a good friend. Most people I know who have been married the last weekend in October have boldly stated that there would be no orange, no black, and definitely no dressing up.

But not this couple. At this reception, costumes were required. Even the bride and groom dressed up...as Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara! (And do you like the 10-year-old bridesmaids dress I pulled out for the occasion?)

It was so much fun to be back, even for a grand total of 18 hours. What I realized more than anything after our short trip is that I don't want that much time to pass before I return!

Do not call

My friend Scott, who is also my boss, assured me that he'd be reachable by phone for the rest of this week while he and his fiancé, Robyn, put the final touches on their wedding (tomorrow!).

Considering he'll be out of commission for the next two weeks on his honeymoon, I took him up on his "really, call anytime" statement with a quick question this morning.

He answered the phone but his mind was clearly no longer at work. "Why does no one tell you how much crap there is to finish in the 48 hours before a wedding!" he practically screamed into the phone. "Do you have any idea much stuff we have to do?!? How am I going to get all of this done?!?"

"Gee, I had no idea it was that crazy," I said dryly, remembering the chaotic few days before we got married. "I think weddings are like childbirth -- no one who has been there before tells you what it's going to be like until it's too late to turn back. Otherwise you might change your mind."

Silence.

"Ok," he said, grumbling. "I'll take a look at what you sent me in 15 minutes. Right after I go pick out this stationary."

Ups and downs

It's been a newsy week in our group of friends. We welcomed Braden Thomas (yes, he finally has a name) on Saturday and Sophia Jane on Monday. Sophia and family are doing well, though I haven't heard how big sister Anna is handling all this newness!

Unfortunately, this week has also come with its share of loss. Within this group of guys (and our friend Brigid), taken at the wedding we went to in Florida in April, two of them lost parents this week--one mother, one father. This has been the first death of any of our friends' parents -- and two in one week just seems unreal.

If nothing else, it makes you realize all you really have.

Change of plans

With Chad out of town for five days, I have been finding plenty to keep myself busy. This morning, I intended to go to kickboxing with a friend, have brunch with my girls' group, head to the mall with Rachel, and then take Lucy to the park with my friend April and her dog Cooper.

There was a slight change of plans.

Kickboxing was great, but just four of us went to brunch. Then we went here:

Meet Baby O'Reilly, the newest addition to our group, who arrived this morning at 3:54 a.m. at a healthy 8 pounds, 12 ounces. (Baby Sophia is due any day, but the O'Reilly kid came a week early and beat her to it!)

His only name right now is "cute," but his mom and dad are working on that.

Weekend Update

So you don't have to endure another one of Chad's Cubs videos (though I wouldn't blame him for posting a clip of last night's game-winning Grand Slam...even I thought that was impressive), I wanted to send off a quick update of what we've been up to.

Over the weekend, we hosted our annual summer party, called Hootiepalooza (the name is random and I'll tell the story another time). The party always has a theme and this year we all went redneck to make up for last year's "preppy" party. People from West Virginia, Missouri, Florida and Georgia traveled to DC for Hootiepalooza, which started at 4 and ended around 1 a.m. Since 2004, when this party began, our group has expanded...sometimes literally: This year's party included four pregnant women and five kids (one of our friends at the party had her baby two days later!).

I'm still thinking about which pictures I should share with the world and which ones should stay protected by the 50 or so people who witnessed the hilarity.

So for now, I'll post three photos: our two men who took home award for the "best guy" ensemble (who both cut long hair just for this party -- and promptly shaved it on Sunday) and our "best couple": a photo of my good friend April and her husband Tom. She really is pregnant and they really don't normally look like this...

Bonus round

One of our most vibrant members passed away over the weekend at the way-too-young age of 41. I met him once or twice, but wish I would have known him better: from everything I've read, he seems like an incredible guy. My colleague, Larry, wrote an incredibly poignant blog post about this well-respected man, who seemed to have a refreshing viewpoint on life.

My favorite part of his blog post was about the eulogy his wife gave during yesterday's funeral. She said, basically, that her husband always had a lot of ideas, one of which was this concept of a "bonus day." In this concept, you take a routine, "normal" day and make something special out of it that can live in your memory.

As my friend Larry said, "Whether Alan was scrapping dinner plans to make something adventurous in the kitchen, taking his kids sledding when they should be sleeping, or some other zany activity — Alan’s life was filled with bonus days. If you take nothing else from his life, we should all try to create as many bonus days in our own life as possible." Man, isn't that the truth?!?

So I've been thinking about the idea of a "bonus day" ever since I read Larry's post. I have a slightly different take on it, in that I decided a "bonus day" means to me that every day I get is a day that I am 1) not owed and 2) can't "do over."

To be honest, I've lived 30 wonderful, healthy, fun, successful years (and I hope to live, hmmm...60 more!). But I realize that a zillion different things could have hypothetically happened to me that would have cut my life short, and everything I get on top of what I have should be considered a bonus. Let me tell you: that shift in perspective really makes a difference to me.

With this buried in the back of my mind, I went to girls' night after work with four great friends. We talked about everything: babies, weddings, showers, Europe, the Harvard professor, health care reform...you name it. As I was walking back to my car after we dispersed into five different directions, I realized this was my "bonus" for today: an evening surrounded by good friends, way too much laughter, and a dinner bill that didn't even come close to the value that can be put on memories like this.

Down the road

As I rode a bike down the two-mile stretch of country road to Grandma Cathy's this afternoon on a perfectly wonderful spring day in Illinois, I got to thinking about the particularly memorable times I've made that trip:

• The years when I was old enough to ride a bike by myself but not old enough to drive. Many summer days involved back-and-forths to Grandma's and Grandpa's for milkshakes, lemonade, ice cream, or just conversation.
  
• Whenever I got sick and mom was working I'd head down the road. This included a two-day stretch in college after a brief hospital stint and when I came down with the flu my junior year in high school, stopping at home just long enough to pick up my pillow before showing up so pathetically on her doorstep.
  
• After arguing with my mom at the age of 9 or 10 (I was a strong-willed child), I decided to run away from home. I packed my little suitcase and Mom found me walking down the road halfway between our house and theirs. I'm pretty sure if I had made it all the way there that I would have just been taken home, but they may have fed me first.
• With our entire bridal party on our wedding day (four years ago tomorrow) when we played croquet and took pictures by an old barn and enjoyed a low-key celebration in the midst of wedding-day chaos with some of our favorite people in the world.

To-Do: Get out of Town

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the whole year, a day when we throw our to-do list to the wind (ok, my to-do list) and head out to the Blue Ridge mountains with friends to the Montpelier Wine Festival. We pack food, blankets and games, leave in the morning and come back at night. It's my official start to spring -- and I love it!

This year, the weather threw a wrench in our plans. There was an 80% chance of rain, so we added umbrellas, tarps and ponchos to bring along. But, aside from a few rain drops when we first arrived, it was a perfect day!

Our little place in the sun

Janice takes a nap (I did, too!)Competitive games of bocce

Dark clouds rolling in as it's time to leave

But we were only 50% lucky this weekend. The Cardinals/Nationals game, which we were supposed to attend this afternoon, got completely rained out. Fortunately, we were smart enough not to go to the field first -- the game was delayed for four hours before they finally postponed! That's ok, though...at least I had one day this weekend to cross things off my to-do list.

The Sunshine State

We had so much fun on our long weekend to Florida for our friends' wedding. The wedding wasn't until 6 p.m. on Saturday night, so we had all day to go exploring. We drove Longboat Key, spent about 90 minutes lying around and walking down a magnificent beach, and had lunch outside in St. Armand's Circle. Our splurge of the trip was renting a convertible (my compromise with Chad since we booked a flight out of Baltimore).

The wedding was fabulous--Mike and Ashleigh were beaming the whole time and it was so nice to see some old friends. They got married on the grounds of the Ca d'Zan mansion, formerly the winter home of John Ringling, who founded the Ringling Barnum & Bailey Circus. The wedding was on the front lawn and the reception was in the back, and the weather really could not have been more perfect.

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Chad loving life in our rented convertible

The beach where we spent about an hourHow cool is this seahorse made of shells?All dressed up and waiting for the wedding to startFor those who were wondering, my shoes arrived!My seat at the ceremony -- amazing!View of the reception location through the
stained glass windows of the mansion
By the waterMy seat at the receptionEnjoying time with old friends

Surprise!

I have mentioned before that I am no good at surprises--giving or receiving them. So when I decided two months ago to keep Chad's birthday from him, I knew what I was getting myself into. I almost let the word spill a million times over the past few weeks but I didn't...which goes to show that apparently I do think before I speak!

Last night, a dozen of our very best friends got together for dinner at the Farm Table, a big table for 14 in the middle of a wine store connected to one of the best restaurants around. (This is a new partnership between the wine store and the restaurant, which Chad hadn't heard about, so this wasn't even something he would have guessed.)

Each month the chef creates a special menu for "the table" from local fish, meat, and vegetables, then one of the wine connoisseurs from Planet Wine makes recommendations on the best pairings for each course--or you can just walk through the wine store and select your own bottles. The menu was fabulous, the wine was superb, and the dessert was, well...better than what I could have made (think chocolaty and caramel with some unexpected crunch and a taste of peanut butter added in).

After dinner had ended, we sat at the table for another two hours catching up, giving each other grief, and trying to figure out whose birthday was next so we could have an excuse to return!

Weekend Update

It was a busy weekend around our house. Chad's buddy Kirk was in town for several days, so we mixed in some sightseeing with a few preplanned activities.

On Saturday morning, in my quest to find a mirror to put above a piece of furniture in our living room, we headed to Annapolis. While there, we stopped by Middleton Tavern (because how can you pass by a place that opened in the 1700s?). Chad tried one of their "oyster shooters"--an oyster in a shot glass with some cocktail sauce. Kirk and I both thought it looked disgusting, though neither of us is one for oysters, but were happy that at least one person in our group tried out their specialty. (By the way, we didn't find a mirror, though the guys were nice enough to wander around the art store with me for 20 minutes while I looked.)

Then, even though it wasn't crab season, we headed to Cantler's, a place that's so in-the-middle-of-nowhere we worried we were lost, even though we had two separate sets of directions. Since I'm not one for working for my food, I just got a sandwich, though it was fun to watch Chad and Kirk hammer away for their dinner.

We ended our whirlwind day with bowling to celebrate a friend's birthday. In our first game, I bowled a 126 and Chad got a 119 (a good score for me, a terrible score for him). Within the last month, I have managed to beat Chad at checkers and now at a game of bowling; both were firsts. Not to be outdone, here's what he did the second game...three strikes in a row! Needless to say, I never recovered.

And on Sunday, we compensated for our crazy Saturday with laundry and lots of ironing.

Hide and seek

I spent about six hours on Sunday watching Anna, our friends' two-year-old. I was initially concerned that there is nothing in my house to entertain a child, so they brought lots of toys and games and puzzles for her to play with. In the first half-hour, she had been through it all. We took another approach and the time flew by.

We went on a walk. We went to the playground. She chased Lucy around the house (and Lucy chased her). She ate dinner--and I forgot how long it takes for a kid to do that. She fed Lucy dinner. Can you sense a pattern?

The final 45 minutes of the evening were spent playing hide-and-seek. Anna and I would hide and Chad would come find us. (Usually Lucy found us first, but that's beside the point.)

Once Anna figured out how this worked, she was very in to the game. Every time we'd be found, she would scream, "Hide AGAIN!" On our final mission, I let her hide by herself. She wasn't terribly difficult to locate. Here's what it looked like:

Duty calls

I've never been drawn to public service. Perhaps I'm too selfish or too squirmy or just too bullheaded to pursue something like that. So I have an extra appreciation for people who do these things.

About a year ago, Janice's boyfriend, Nick--and one of our good friends, too--decided that he wanted to make a difference in a job that involved a lot of activity. He felt a call to become a firefighter. In order to achieve this goal, he went through months of exams and was accepted into one of the most difficult academies in Virginia last summer. (This is no small feat--several thousand people take these tests and only a few hundred are accepted.)

Over the last six months, he has gone through rigorous training, learning everything from water rescues to how to respond to terrorist attacks to, of course, the best ways to fight certain fires. In training, they ran through burning buildings, were tear-gassed (which would have done me in), and did a lot of push-ups to achieve peak physical condition. Additionally, Nick has spent the last week learning everything there is to know about installing car seats, a skill set that those of us who live less exciting lives may be able to capitalize upon someday.

You can read all about this journey on his blog.

This six-month sacrifice meant waking up at 4 a.m. and getting home at 7 p.m. five nights a week. (I lament my schedule!) And it meant studying on the weekends and cutting back on social activities (ie: football) that might provoke injuries incurred during grueling daily workouts (think: running seven flights of stairs a dozen times in a row).

But it's all been worth it. Today, Nick will graduate as one of the top in his class. He is officially a firefighter, protecting all of us.

Congratulations, Nick! We all all so proud of you. And, thank you. You are far more selfless than I ever will be.