Sick and tired

I always know I'm really sick when I take a shower and it doesn't make me feel better. And then when I've been sick for a few days, I come to a point where I really think I'll never be well again. Truly. I wonder.

(Mom, you don't need to call me. I'm not sick. This is an analogy.)

Today I had this overwhelming realization - kind of like you feel when you wake up and you realize that you're on the mend after those hours and days of not believing you will ever be yourself again. For the first time, in those moments, you come to realize that you may not be sick for the rest of your life.

Today I got to work and realized that the chaos of the last few weeks was over. I may not be this busy or stressed out for the rest of my life. It was an unexpected epiphany.

For weeks now, when my alarm has gone off in the morning I've repeated, "Ok, hang in there. Only [fill-in-the-blank] days until Cyber Monday." I've peeled myself out of bed and prayed for the strength to make it through the day until I could collapse under the covers again. I work so much during the first few weeks of November - probably somewhere between 60-80 hours a week, which I know isn't unusual for farmers but is a lot for me - that I neglect everything and everyone else. And Cyber Monday, which comes after the chaotic weekend of Black Friday and nearly two weeks of a different research report every day, is always my light at the end of the tunnel.

At about 10 a.m. today, I felt like a sick person taking a shower, realizing that maybe - just maybe - I have emerged unscathed. Rachel and I went to grab lunch and, as we were sitting there talking about life and Christmas and nothing in general, I told her, "I feel like I survived." It's so ridiculous, but I feel like I have. Again.

This afternoon, I crossed some things off my checklist. Cleaned my desk. Planned for the next few months. Thought big-picture. Left by 6:30. Home by 7:00. Walked the dog. Dinner at 9:00 (ok, so we're still late). Bed a little after midnight.

The holiday season might not be over, but it's nice to know that I'm over a major hurdle. Something tells me many retailers are feeling the same way.