As we entered this new stage of our life as parents-to-be, I didn't realize how much there would be to think about. The first few weeks after finding out I was pregnant, Chad and I didn't even talk about it - barely even thought about it. (I'm paranoid and Chad is cautious, so we waited until we heard the heartbeat for the first time to really believe any of this.) But as the weeks have progressed, it seems there's been a ton to think about. What I've been wondering lately:
What in the heck do we call this little thing? I'm not talking about the "real" name - that's another discussion entirely and no we're not sharing our options - I'm talking about what do we call this creation in advance. What seems to have won out at this point is Buster, the impromptu name my brother - who is just positive it's a boy - threw out right when we told him he was going to be an uncle. And while I'm not a gigantic fan, and am going to blacklist anyone from my life who calls him/her Buster after he/she is born, the moniker seems as good as if not better than the standard options of "peanut" or "squirt" or "pumpkin" or "it."
Do we want to know the gender in advance? This is the sister question to "Have you set a date?" that people ask the second you get engaged. (This is generally followed up with, "Do you just feel like it's a boy or a girl? And the answer in that instance is definitely no - I've got zero idea, though I'm fairly positive Chad thinks it's a girl.) It's a perfectly acceptable question to ask, and it's generally my follow-up to parents-to-be as well, but we're still on the fence about finding out. Chad, my logical, if-you-can-find-out-early-why-wouldn't-you husband, would learn tomorrow. I, on the other hand, despite the fact that I am generally an incessant, consummate planner, was sure I wouldn't want to know. I always thought the "It's a..." in the delivery room would be one of the greatest surprises of my life. But in the last few weeks, as I've done some daydreaming about who this little person is - and did one lap around Carter's completely overwhelmed because there aren't a whole lot of yellows and greens in there - I've started to think maybe it would be fun to have some clarity. And, let's be honest, it's going to be a surprise whether we find out in six weeks or six months. And there will be lots of other surprises down the road as well. Fortunately, we've got until early July to noodle this question, and even then we might postpone our decision.
What's with this hypersensitive nose? I can smell everything. I mean, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Fortunately, I'm past the point where any of it makes me sick - though poor Chad can attest that there were weeks where I made him open the refrigerator because I couldn't do it without gagging. Truly, I've never experienced anything quite like this in my entire life. Remember in early April when I wrote about how much everything smelled outside? That should have been the first clue. In the event that any perfume company wants to hire me for the next six months, I am available. And I can tell you right away if you've got a winner or if you need to go back to the drawing board.
Why don't the beverage companies make more options without caffeine? Since I found out I was pregnant, I've totally cut out caffeine (except for the Starbucks latte I just ordered where I forgot to specify decaf...sorry, Buster...). This means I've nixed both my beloved Diet Cokes and my summer favorite, iced tea (though I did go all out a few weeks ago and make myself a huge pitcher of decaf iced tea that I drink at home). Juice and the "clear sodas" have a ton of empty calories, so I'm not going to sit at work guzzling OJ or Sprite. For the last three months, my beverage options have consisted of water or diet lemonade, and sometimes diet root beer (naturally caffeine-free). Sparkling water with lime is a perennial favorite at restaurants and happy hours, but man I'm going to be excited when I have options again.
What's next? I could drive myself crazy with these questions: Am I eating right? (Yes, I think so.) Am I taking the right prenatal vitamins? (There are only about 800 to choose from.) How about supplements? Is the baby healthy? Am I exercising the right way? How are we going to decorate the nursery? What do we need to register for? How's Lucy going to adjust to all of this? When are we going to find a daycare place without an 18-month waiting list? How can I keep my child from turning into a brat? Surprisingly, I have really given little thought to any of this. While I've always had a tendency to get worked up or lose sleep over the little things and the things I can't control, I've been much less spastic lately. Maybe that will change, but I kind of like this new oh-we'll-figure-it-out mentality. I'm just kind of relishing everything, honestly. And even though there's really no science proving this, I am convinced that the more calm I am over the next several months, the more calm my kid will be. Here's hoping this baby takes after his or her dad in that regard!
3 comments:
Ellen, you are on the right track already by thinking about it all. I read everything I could get a hold of about birthing, babies, etc. It will all start coming together as to what you will need. A good Dr will advise on the right prenatal vit, what to avoid and they use to give out lots of bookets on how to exercise,about the birthing,about babies and what all you need for them. Do excercise to strengthen you and the baby for the birthing. You also don't have to gain 30#'s or more if they try to tell you that. Eat right and 25#'s is good enough. Then don't forget to work it off after the baby.
Wish I was close to help w/daycare but that won't work. Do hear you have to sign up really early for daycare.
Do go to Lamaze classes or whatever classes doing. Make Chad go too. He will complain, but make him. I went all 3 times just to sike myself up. As Bob said "we could have taught it by the 3rd one". Also make Chad be in the room for the birth. It is a memory he can't miss. Chad is so much like his father. Make him participate! He will be glad he did.
You guys are going to make great parents! You are right about if you are calm then the baby will be calm. Also there will always be plenty of surprises, no matter how old they get. Enjoy!
The husband does not need to go to any classes as he does not need to be in the room for the birth. Husbands should be in the waiting room until I come out to congratulate them. This is a timeless approach that has worked for many decades.
Just a note about the caffeine thing...check out Wyler's Light. It's decaf and they make a peach tea that is yummy. :)
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