The tipping point

Jackson is six weeks old today. As I'm sure anyone who has had a baby can attest, the last 42 days have been the most surreal, intense, weird days of my entire life. It all passes so quickly, yet every day feels a little like Groundhog Day. They've been joyful. Stressful. Confusing. Exhausting. Exhilarating. Hilarious. And, dare I say, fun. Waiting until you're 32 years old to have a baby definitely has one perk: I'm old enough to enjoy it and soak in the experience. All the minutia that would have stressed me out or set me over the edge at 23 isn't even on my radar at the moment.

I've been reading one parenting book after another - the latest is a book on establishing healthy sleep habits - and every single book points to the six-week mark as a major milestone. Tonight I read how six weeks is when the baby's neurological system begins to develop to the point where he or she can sleep longer. (Hallelujah!) Earlier I read that the six-week mark is when the baby becomes more socially aware and tends to be more fussy since he or she wants to be awake more to soak in these new surroundings and has a tendency to get overtired.

Either way, the six-week point seems to be a turning point, and I am beginning to feel a little bit of the fog lifting. I want to shout victoriously, "We made it!" (Though at the same time, it's bittersweet. I'm not going to get these days back.)

So now that we've made it past that all-important six-week mark, let me say this: This experience has been more gratifying and far less difficult than I had expected. Keep in mind that I had very low expectations: I was a colicky baby and I was sure that my child would pay me back in spades. I had visions of constant screaming all night every night for three months. Believe me, a bit of fussiness every now and then paled in comparison to what I thought would be my destiny.

That said, I have forgotten a little bit what a "normal" life is like: going shopping or on a walk with just my purse or house keys, making plans that don't revolve around an every-three-hours feeding schedule, interacting with more people than those who stop by to see us. I forget what I used to do on the weekends or at night after work since this baby thing is literally 24/7 at this point. And I feel so grateful that we have family and such amazing friends who have been a huge support to us as we tried to navigate this.

I told my doctor today at my six-week check-up that I felt lucky - Jackson is a good sleeper, doesn't fuss much and seems to have a very easygoing personality. "It's not luck," she said in her matter-of-fact tone. "Easygoing parents have easygoing kids." Perhaps that's true and I really am an easygoing parent...or maybe Chad is easygoing enough for the two or us, or I've just got Jackson fooled into thinking I'm fairly chill. Either way, I'll take it!