Friday, July 27, 2007

Out of the office (and my mind)

I can often gauge a person by his or her out of office message. It seems to be, quite literally, the last thing people do before going on vacation. Now, look, I'm sure your mind is somewhere else--like on a beach--but absolutely EVERYONE who sends you an email in the next two days/two weeks/two months is going to receive this exact message from you. Are you intentionally trying to look like an idiot?

Here are my top five favorite out of office messages of all time:

1) "I will return to the office on Monday, July 28." Ok...which year? Because this year, July 28 is not on a Monday.
2) "If your need is urgent, please call Jane Doe at 312-428-384." Right. As if that's going to help me. Is Jane Doe located in Spain or something?
3) "I will be out of the office until May 29." Glad to hear you had a nice time on your vacation in May. It's July. So are you back or not?
4) "I am out of the office." Well, fabulous. But obviously I sent you an email because I need something now. So what in the hell am I supposed to do?
5) "Thank you for your mesage. I am out of the ofice. I wil get backe to you upon my return." And by the way I clearly cannot spel.

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